Technology continues to be a challenge. I apologize to my subscribers because they didn’t receive the blog post last week because I didn’t reblog correctly. So, I’m adding another blog on healing first. If you missed last week, please scroll to the second post and read it first. Peace, Love, and Joy to you all, Georganne
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung
How willing are you to be aware of your emotional pain? Do you use pleasant experiences or material things to make you feel better or deaden the pain? Do you have the courage to face and heal the deeper truth?
In the first blog of this series, I wrote about how our wounds often lead us to see what needs to be healed in our lives. Although we see them as part of our emotional darkness, they are gifts. In the second part of the series, I pointed out that we all need love in our lives and that it may come from many sources if we are open to seeing it. Today, I want to write about the importance of letting go of our attachment to the pain we experience.
Fear of Letting go of Pain
Years ago, after a painful divorce, I began seeing a therapist to help me deal with the deep betrayal of my husband. At the time, I was teaching modern dance and dancing with a company and choreographing. As the therapy progressed, I began to feel better about myself and spent less time overwhelmed by negative emotions, but one day I became very upset during a session.
“Sometimes I’m afraid that getting ‘well’ will destroy my creativity. It’s changing something in me, and I don’t feel I need to create so much. I feel like I’m losing my creative edge.”
“How is it doing that?” my therapist asked.
“Because it’s the inner turmoil that makes me want to create. If I get well, I’ll have no reason to create!”
“What if being healthy makes you more creative?”
I only shrugged, but as I thought about this, I was unable to imagine how that could be so.
(Excerpted from Awakening to the Dance: A Journey to Wholeness)
Why We Won’t Let Go
We all have belief systems that keep us trapped in unhealthy places. That’s why many people refuse to get help for their problems. They’re afraid to discover what lies in their darkness or are so insecure that they cannot handle the idea that they have done something wrong or are not all right. My mother is a good example. She could not let go of the idea that she wasn’t a good Christian if she loved herself. Her entire sense of worth was based on what she did for others. She was a loving person in many ways, but very unhappy and took care of herself only so she wouldn’t burden others.
Sometimes, though, we take the risk, and in our process of changing, we begin to feel better and hit another layer of fear that limits our consciousness. We may cling to our negative feelings simply because they are so familiar, just as we cling to negative relationships because they are known and nothing scares us like the unknown. Letting go of these attachments is often a big step.
Becoming Conscious of Our Shadow
Fortunately, though, after my divorce, I liked feeling better more than being in pain and decided that my ideas for dances could come from many sources, even the past negative feelings, for I could remember them, even if I no longer felt them. I filed them away as I would any reference material and took responsibility for making myself happier.
Through therapy and through reading and attending workshops as a member of the Carl Jung Society in New Orleans for ten years, I learned to understand my difficulties and how to resolve them. I learned about the value of what Jung calls, “the Shadow.” It is that dark part of ourselves that we don’t want to see, but the less conscious we are of it, the more it harms us. Becoming enlightened or conscious requires that we examine and heal it, for when we become conscious of the thoughts or experiences that have caused our pain, we can heal them, then let go and move on.
All Spiritual Healing Requires the Journey Inward
This spiritual journey inward may seem eccentric to some people who have bought into our materialistic society. Eventually, the materialism fails to solve the problems. The drugs that seemed to make us feel better become a destructive addiction. All of the “cures” for our pain only create an illusion of temporary healing. The only true healing takes place when we go within, and that is often true of physical, as well as emotional pain. We have to bring it to the surface, heal it, and let it go.
We can free ourselves only when we become conscious. No one I’ve read has written more clearly about our pain than Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose in his discussion of the “pain body” and how to heal it. I highly recommend this book. (See Links I Like at the side bar)
What pain have you healed recently? Please comment.
© 2012 Georganne Spruce
Last Week’s Blog
Many healing issues have arisen in my life lately, so I intended to write about healing today. I know several people dealing with cancer and others dealing with emotional issues. But when I looked at a series I wrote on this topic last year, I realized I would just repeat what I’d already said. So, I’m reblogging the posts that seem most relevant. I hope they will be helpful. Namaste.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Rumi
How tall are the walls you build around yourself? Why do you need so much protection? What will it take to heal your wounds?
It was freezing last night and my bedroom was still cold when I awoke. All I wanted to do was snuggle further into bed, hide out in my pleasant dreams and the warmth. But after briefly indulging my desires, I climbed out of bed, and walking into the center of my house, I was warmed by the brilliant, morning light spilling through the windows.
When life is rough, it is natural to want to hide out, build protective walls, and ignore the source of our pain; yet, if we do that for too long, it can become a dark cave from which we may never emerge. We learn to lie brilliantly to ourselves. We evade capture. And we become hard and defensive around the edges, so that the one thing that can heal us is unable to penetrate. Even the light needs a chink to pass through.
Wounds Are Valuable Assets
How do you deal with your most painful wounds? Do you build walls to protect yourself or do you see the pain as a sign something needs to be healed? Our wounds are some of our most valuable assets. They are the portals through which we can heal the pain that stops us from living our lives fully. We have to learn to dance with them in the dark so that we can dance with them in the light.
Have you ever had the experience that, when a small conflict arises, you suddenly explode or react in some way that is inappropriate to the situation? This is always a sign that a deeper issue has been triggered. It is usually a sign that, deep within us, there are unhealed, deep wounds struggling to reach the light. So, what can we do to heal these wounds?
How To Heal Your Emotional Wounds
Being present is the key. Has this happened before? When did it begin? What was the source of the original pain? There is always fear present with emotional pain, so I try to identify my pain so I can focus on it. Am I afraid I’m not loved? Am I afraid of losing someone or something I value? Am I afraid of being harmed? Regardless of how you identify the fear or don’t, the first step is to release it.
Releasing Your Fear
I take a deep breath, and as I exhale, I feel and/or visualize this fear leaving my body. I repeat this process until I do feel the fear released, then sit a moment with the peaceful quiet that appears after the release. Without the fear blocking my mind, I ask that this emotional pain be healed permanently, knowing that my wish will be granted.
Being Patient With the Process
The next step requires the most patience. The pain may be healed immediately. More than likely, though, I will be drawn to those experiences that will guide me through healing myself, and that is very empowering. Healing may come in many forms: a book, a person, a workshop, or technique. Over the years, I have found valuable guidance for healing in therapy, spiritual practices, support groups, healing techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique, affirmations, numerology, astrology, Medicine Wheel cards, and simple conversations with friends. If I’m drawn to it, I dance with it, and in dancing with it, I may be healed.
How Did You Help Create This Wound
This deep pain is the kind we don’t want to return, so it is also wise to become aware of the role we played in creating the pain. The answers are always within us. That is why it is important to be receptive, but not passive. We need to ask, “What did I do to help trigger this? What was my role?” Unless we can see the patterns in our behavior, we will repeat them. It is in this step of the healing process that therapy is most valuable. Therapists cannot change you, but they can help you understand your behavior and others. Only you can make the change once you understand what you need to do. Awareness is the key.
It is not always possible to identify our role in creating the pain, for sometimes it is the result of karma from past lives or that we are in a situation in order to learn a lesson. Still, as frightening as it is, we must be willing to be vulnerable—to let the light shine through our journey to understand how to dance the healing dance, the one that we choreograph for our own healing. Love the wound, then let it go.
What techniques have worked well for you in healing emotional pain? Please comment.
© 2012 Georganne Spruce
© 2013 Georganne Spruce ZQT4PQ5ZN7F5