Looking for Love

Remember the old song “Looking for love in all the wrong places?”  I heard it again a few days ago and thought how drastically my idea of where to find love had changed in the last few years.  In conversations with other women, the topic of where to find a mate usually touches on, activities they enjoy, church, work – the list is endless.  The idea seems to be if we are in the right place at the right time, we will meet the right person.  It’s all just timing and luck.

 The Law of Attraction

Au contraire.  A few weeks ago, I stumbled across the same idea twice in the same day.  This kind of synchronicity always gets my attention.  During meditation time, I read from The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks, a book about the Law of Attraction and relationships.  In a number of places in the book, Abraham, who is the source of the teachings, points out that in order to receive anything we want, we must imagine what it feels like to have it, rather than focusing on what it feels like not to have what we want.

Later, while reading Harville Hendricks’ book Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved, I came across the following idea: If we are looking for love, we’re unlikely to receive it because we are in the looking mode rather than the receiving mode. (p.123) Immediately, I thought of all the times I’ve heard the longing in the voices of women and men as they talked about looking for a mate or a friend.  I’ve known what that longing feels like too.

The second thought that came to mind was “this is the law of attraction.”  Hendricks is pointing out that in order to receive what we want we must be a vibrational match to that desire.  When we are looking for something, we are emphasizing the fact that we don’t have it.  This is scarcity, emptiness.  When we see ourselves as receiving it, we know that it exists.  We can see and feel it.  We feel excited and confident knowing the relationship will manifest at exactly the right moment.

 In Order To Love Others, We Must Love Ourselves

I believe there is also another important element at work here.  To have a healthy relationship with anyone, we must have a healthy relationship with ourselves.  How can we feel we are receiving love, if we don’t love ourselves?  We have to believe we are worthy in order to feel we will receive friends and lovers who are positive and supportive.

When I am longing for something in my life, I feel sad.  There is a lack that needs to be filled in order for me to feel better.  When I find myself in this frame of mind, I often stop and meditate, seeing the white light of the Creator surrounding me and enveloping me in love.  From deep inside that eternal love wells up, filling me.  Not only am I loved by the Creator and worthy of receiving all good things, I love and accept myself.  In loving myself, I empower myself, radiating out into the Universe loving energy that will attract like energy.

Loving From Our Spiritual Centers, Not From The Ego

When I love myself from my spiritual center and not from the ego, it is not surprising that new people and new opportunities show up in my life.  They are always positive.  Like attracts like.  When we feel good about ourselves, we will attract others who feel good about themselves, and this offers us the best opportunity for a happy and healthy relationship.  It’s the lover within us that really counts.  © 2011 Georganne Spruce

 How have you manifested the relationships that are meaningful in your life?

 If you want to learn more or are having difficulty manifesting positive relationships, I highly recommend The Vortex and any of Harville Hendricks books on love as well as the Imago Relationship work that he and Helen Hunt created.

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