“Do you ever wonder if the guy in the puddle is real, and if you’re just a reflection of him?” Calvin and Hobbs
Seeing Who We Really Are
Do you ever find yourself observing someone’s behavior, being irritated by it, then suddenly realize the reason it irritates you is because it’s a reflection of your behavior? The idea that we are mirrors for each other is a powerful one, but whether or not we learn from these experiences depends on what we are willing to see.
Sometimes reflections are so clear, exact replicas of our faces, words or behavior that we cannot miss the message. Other times, like the picture above, the reflection seems cloudy with undefined edges and unclear images.
Sharing Our Awakening
Last night, I listened to a presentation on Human Design with several people, many of whom are friends. We discovered that most of us belonged to the same design type. As the characteristics of our type were revealed, we mirrored one another with startled stares, exclamations, and laughter, amazed by our similarities. We were told that the strategy for centering our energy was “to wait and respond.” To use our will power to force things to happen would create frustration. Considering the fact that several of us are self-employed, we also mirrored our shock at this revelation. How could that be?
Awakening Through Reflection
As I attempted to integrate our similarities, I also became aware that some of my companions, in the past, have reflected my behavior in ways I don’t particularly like. I was looking at both sides of the mirror at one time. Flashes of memories came flooding back: the times I wanted to control something that was uncontrollable, the times I responded insensitively to another because I was frustrated (ouch), the times when I held back information for fear I would reveal too much of myself, and most of all, the ways I criticized the person mirroring this to me. Each person in that room was my teacher.
Reflecting Who We Really Are
Along with getting a glimpse of the way others mirror who I am, I became aware that the strategy for my design type, wait and respond, was basically the same as the major spiritual lesson I had been learning. About a year ago, unhappy with the direction of my life, I meditated on how to create a less stressful life where I could put my writing at the center. I felt I needed a master plan. Then, the awareness came to me that all I needed to do was to take the first step.
Wait and Respond
I was tired. Tired of trying so hard. Tired of planning. I decided to try a different way. So I took the first step. I began writing my memoir every day, decided to set up a blog and learn to use social media for marketing. Okay, I did have sort of a plan, but what should I do first other than work on the memoir?
I waited. Before long, what I needed showed up. The community college offered courses on social media and blogging, and a woman I knew understood this new technology. I took the courses and my friend became my mentor. Waiting, something I hate to do, led me to the next step; then I responded. The human design strategy simply reflected back to me what I already knew: when I wait, what I need shows up, then I respond.
I have much to reflect upon as I look deeper into the experience I had last night. Some of edges in these reflections are crystal clear, while others are blurred and mysterious. The latter will require that I go deeper. In next week’s blog, I will explore the way we may use reflection to do that.
When you look at those close to you, what do they reflect back to you? What are you willing to see?
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© 2011 Georganne Spruce
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Thanks for your comment. You’re always so insightful.
From Biddy Bytes–
I find this all very intriguing, the “Wait and it will come.” I remember once when I asked a therapist “Why do I have to go through so much pain?…Can’t you deaden me, so I don’t experience these terrible sorrows (I’d divorced and buried two more husbands by the time I was 42?”) He answered: “If I did that, you wouldn’t experience the exquisite joy you will some day realize.” The pain of that period of my life, would indeed allow me to experience profound joy when it came. Little things don’t rattle me; sometimes the big ones do, but that’s only natural. Difference today? I accept. If whatever happens is meant to be, I try to find the kernel of gold within. But you must “pan through,” sift through the silt to get there… At the time I didn’t appreciate, but I must say: I am happier than probably 98% of all I meet…Love your website. Now, where is that blogging course? I’ll take it with you.
Opening our eyes is always a risk, but we’ll miss so many things if we hide from life. I love seeing your willingness to grow. Thanks for commenting.
Everyone is a gift and an opportunity to see ourselves. I love those gifts that are wrapped with smiles and kind words but the ones wrapped in negativity……..oh, not so much love there. BUT………….I am learning that they might be the bigger lesson for me, especially because it is probably the one I don’t want to acknowledge. Like you, I am learning and growing. The more I am willing to really see, the more I learn.