Tag Archives: Self-awareness

AWAKENING TO OUR YEARNING

Posted on September 29, 2021 | 1 comment

“When we begin to desire a thing, to yearn for it with all our hearts, we begin to establish relationship with it in proportion to the strength and persistency of our longing and intelligent effort to realize it.”   Orison Swett Marden

For what do you yearn?  Does it enliven or depress you?  How do you deal with it?

(Thanks to Joanne for our topic today.  She must have been reading my mind because, when I thought about “y” words, this was the first one that came to me.  Thanks to all of you who offered words.   Next week’s topic will start with a “Z” so please leave your ideas under comment.  Many thanks!)

Yearning is a very personal experience, but I suspect there is one thing for which we all yearn no matter how different our beliefs or politics.  We all want Covid in its various forms to disappear.

Yearning may lead us to take actual steps to get what we want or it may lead us to be depressed when what we yearn for is not in our reach. Yearning for what we want may not always take us directly to the place where we had imagined our desire would be met, but that “in between” place may be a valuable part of the journey.

 Doing What Is Necessary

When I had Chronic Fatique Syndrome years ago,  I certainly didn’t want to move to the dry west, but that’s where I needed to be in order to heal.

Within four years I returned to good health, but I also received gifts along the way that I had not expected.  I developed a deep, loving relationship with a man that was not romantic.  I had not known that to be possible.  I was exposed to new cultures and beautiful art that was different from any I had seen before.  Most of all, I was exposed to eastern religious practices like meditation that helped heal me and became a valuable part of my life.

As a result of taking this step, I was able to then move to the mountains where I had desired to live for a long time.  Now I currently live surrounded by the beauty of nature I most love with friends who share my spiritual and political values.

Negative Yearning Does Not Help Us

So often, though, we yearn for things we believe are impossible to attain.  If we believe it is impossible, we won’t make the effort to find out if it really is possible.If we have a strong desire, not acting on it may lead to depression, which will become another obstacle to overcome.

One of the greatest modern dancers of all times was Martha Graham.  She had a different approach to dance movement that did not always please people.  I’ve been reading her autobiography and did not realize how much difficulty she encountered.  But she was persistent because dance enlivened her.  It was her calling, so she was willing to struggle.  She would not stop dancing.  Along the way, she was often surprised by the people who offered her work or artistic help so that she was able to create the dances she wanted.  These people saw her brilliance.

Is Our Yearning Good For Us?

When we yearn for something we do not have, we need to seriously assess if it is something that is good for us.  Yearning for drugs to make us high is clearly not good for us.  Eating enormous amounts of carbs will put way too much weight on us.  Having an affair when we are married is certainly a bad choice.  Yearning for what will clearly harm us requires that we let go of that yearning or see a professional who can help us release that desire.

When we yearn for something, we always need to ask, “If I succeed in getting this, would it be good for me?”  If the answer is no, then we need to release that desire, and if necessary, find the help to do so.

But if getting what we yearn for would be good for us and improve our lives, then we should find the courage to explore making what we yearn for a reality.

May your yearning lead you to wonderful experiences!

© 2021 Georganne Spruce

Related Blog Posts:

AWAKENING TO OUR WISHES

AWAKENING TO YOUR TRUE SELF

AWAKENING TO OUR REALITY

 

 

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AWAKENING TO BE XENIAL

Posted on September 22, 2021 | 1 comment

“Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.”  Charles M. Schwab

Are you a good hostess even with people who are not your friends?  Are you happy with your life?  What creates this happiness in your life?

(I’m very grateful to Randy for offering this topic because there are few words starting with “x” that inspire positive ideas.  Most are about things.  Next week’s topic may also be a challenge, but if you have a word starting with “Y” please leave it under Comment.  Thanks to you all!)

Xenial is not a word I’ve ever noticed.  After teaching English for many years, it is unusual for me to find a word that I don’t know.  It seemed to originate with the Greeks referring to being friendly or hospitable to persons from different cities.  Now it primarily refers to the friendliness between a host and guest.

The Pandemic Makes Being Xenial More Difficult

Unfortunately, during the pandemic, many of us haven’t been hosts or guests very often.  Fortunately, the vaccine has made it possible for vaccinated families and friends to visit safely to some extent.  But the current situation has also created some difficulty for those whose families have different views about being vaccinated.

One of our biggest challenges is how to be xenial to those who are not from a different city but to those who threaten our health by not being vaccinated.  Being safe and hospitable often conflict when we have to tell a friend not to visit until vaccinated.

Being Xenial Is The Best Way To Relate

Generally, being xenial is the most positive way to treat others when being with them is not a danger.  When we don’t know someone well, it is a good idea to treat them pleasantly and kindly like we do with our friends.  The energy that we spread through our lives creates who we are, not only affecting others, but affecting how we feel as well.  When we focus on the positive, we are more likely to feel good.

In college when I lived in the dorm, my roommate and I had little in common, yet we treated each other xenially.  We got along well because we found amicable ways to use the shower we shared and agreed when to get quiet and go to sleep.

In contrast, when I first discovered I couldn’t eat gluten and dairy, I often interacted with people who didn’t quite believe my situation because they had never heard of it.  One person insisted I was just doing that to get attention.

However, when I visited a friend who was diabetic and had to eat four times a day, she was very sympathetic and made sure I had the food I needed.  She was very xenial around this issue.  I have no doubt she had experienced a few unpleasant experiences in relation to her food limitations.

We All Appreciate Kindness

A welcoming attitude always makes a difference.  When we apply for a job and are welcomed pleasantly, we are more likely to want to work for that company than when we are treated as if the interviewer hardly has time to talk with us.  We want to work in hospitable places so that we can look forward to going to work each day.

In order to be kind and friendly, as Schwab suggests, we have to feel good about ourselves.  Meditation, for example, can help calm us when we need to let go of anger or negative feelings to make room for positive thoughts that will help us and those around us.  Taking care of our inner selves allows us to be more positive with others.

If we treat  co-workers, friends, and family members kindly, they are more likely to return that pleasantness.  “What goes around, comes around” is true.  Having a xenial attitude toward others is the best way to live.

© 2021 Georganne Spruce

Related Blog Posts:

AWAKENING TO DEEPER FRIENDSHIPS

AWAKENING TO EXPRESS KINDNESS

AWAKENING TO A PEACEFUL HEART

 

 

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AWAKENING TO SIMPLICITY

Posted on August 11, 2021 | 1 comment

“Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.”  Isaac Newton

Is your life fairly simple or are you busy all the time?  How do you feel about that?  Do you try to please everyone or are  you simply who you are in every situation?

(Many thanks to Randy for giving us today’s topic.  Again, thanks to all of you who made so many great suggestions.  For next week, the topic will begin with a “T” so if you have a favorite word starting with “T” please leave it under Comment.  Thanks!)

Simplicity is a word most of us are unlikely to use to describe our lives at the moment.  It’s a lovely idea, but in reality, it is often challenging to achieve.  We’ve all grown up in a world where we can move around freely and explore whatever appeals to our curiosity.  Now, though, we are surrounded by limitations that make shopping, playing with kids, visiting friends, or going to school or work more challenging.

So, how do we create the simplicity we need in our lives in the midst of chaos?  If we have more time at home, like many of us who are retired, the easiest way to simplify our lives is to downsize.

Simplifying Things Can Be Easy

I enjoy organizing things in the house and rearranging as if redecorating a room.  But to create a simpler environment at present, I have to get rid of some books.  So far, I have failed to do this.

The few books I have cleared out haven’t created much space and they still sit in a box waiting to be taken away. Every time I pick up a book I think I’m ready to let go of, I find a reason to keep it.  If I had to move, perhaps that would push me to let go, but that won’t happen in the near future.

Clearing out some of our collection of things is probably the easiest way to simplify.  However, clearing space to find who we truly are may be our greatest challenge, and living in a complicated world makes this confusing at times.

Becoming Our True Selves Can Be Difficult

Being who we truly are means shedding the costumes we wear in different situations.  Who are we at home with the spouse and/or children?  Who are we at work?  Who are we with other members of the family or with friends?  Having to play a different role in various circumstances complicates life.

We have to look beyond the outer.  Do we like who we are?  If not, are we willing to make the changes that allow us to be our true selves?

Being a different person in different situations may mean we do not accept who we really are.  If we accept our weaknesses as well as our strengths and love ourselves, then we are more likely to draw to us people and situations that are pleasing.

Finding Acceptance With Others

I moved to Asheville because I knew it was my soul’s home and I knew I had to follow my soul’s guidance in order to find a way to live and be myself.

I became part of a spiritual community that accepted people as they are.  They didn’t try to convert people to their way of thinking because their philosophy was based not only on Jesus’ teachings, but eastern spiritual paths as well.  I found peace there because I didn’t have to pretend to accept views I was uncomfortable with and I quickly made friends.

Difficulty At Work

Working as a substitute in the high schools was another story.  It made my life more complex because each school had its own culture and the school system as a whole had a culture as well.  Being myself didn’t work well at times because I was asked not to discipline students or to ignore problems that I felt the administration should deal with.

Work situations like this complicate our lives but if we set aside time to reflect and perhaps meditate each day, our quieted minds can give us wise guidance based on the core of the problem.  It may not be what we really want to do, but following our anger or frustration is not likely to improve the situation.

Becoming Who We Really Are

For some of us, the confusion in our minds is related to negative messages we received as children.  Seeing a spiritual counselor or a therapist may help us learn how to let go of the garbage and move on.  We are products of our past, but we are also who we choose to be if we are willing to do the work it requires.

Simplifying our lives may be the best starting point from which to grow into better loving ourselves and others, leaving the unnecessary clutter behind.

© 2021 Georganne Spruce

AWAKENING TO LAUGH AT SIMPLE THINGS

AWAKENING TO SEE OURSELVES HONESTLY

AWAKENING TO LOVE OURSELVES

 

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AWAKENING TO OUR REFLECTIONS

Posted on August 4, 2021 | Leave a comment

“The way we experience the world around us is a direct reflection of the world within.”  Gabrielle Bernstein

Do you take time to reflect on your life each day? Each week? Ever?  How does that help you?  If you don’t, why do you avoid it?  Does it make you uncomfortable?

(Special thanks to Jessie for today’s topic.  Thanks to you all for the many wonderful ideas you  gave me.  It wasn’t easy to choose, so I did some meditation and this topic came up first.  Next week I will need a topic starting with “S” so if you have some ideas, please put them in comment.)

Reflection is an inner activity and requires us to move away from the active part of our lives and look at what we are doing and thinking.  Some people are uncomfortable with this idea and value only activity, either mental or physical, but giving attention to our inner as well as outer selves creates a balance in our lives that is healthy and strengthens us in many ways.

Lack of Reflection May Be Detrimental

Being active all the time may be fun, but it may also be exhausting or confusing.  Our minds and bodies also need rest.  At times, that simply means sleep, but it may also mean reflecting on what is happening in our lives and determining if we are heading in the  right direction.

For years, most of my decisions were emotional.  That’s what guided my life and led me to be involved in two disastrous relationships.  I fell in love, and even when my rational mind tried to show me these were not good choices, I ignored it.  I also ignored the behavior of the men when their lack of devotion was obvious.  When reflection presented me with reality, I chose to think that the idea of breaking up with them was just negative thinking.

Our Inner Self Offers Wise Guidance

It is true that we have to learn to distinguish between fear and inner wisdom that warns us not to do what we may want to do.  When I learned to meditate and release my fear, I then more easily respected what my inner reflection showed me.  Even if its guidance was not what I wanted to hear, I respected it and took the time to reflect on its message.  As a result, I began to make wiser choices and felt stronger.

We are now living in an especially chaotic time.  Listening to the news invariably stirs up fear or anger and makes it difficult to even hear what is being reported.  It is almost impossible not to become disturbed, but if we connect with our inner peace, we can experience disbelief or disapproval without it throwing us off balance.

Taking the time to reflect on this news gives us the opportunity to decide what we want to do to help improve the situation, if that is possible, or to let go of the thought or anger that may harm us.  Not everyone can take action, but if we decide to do so, reflecting on the possible actions will help us make the best choice.  Just reacting to a situation is rarely a good solution.

Nature May Help Us Find Peace

The times when I feel the most reflective are during a walk in the forest or under the trees.  Being close to nature always beings me close to Spirit and opens my spiritual self to reflection.  One may also experience this fishing or floating on a lake or stream.  There is something about Nature that clears the dust and tar from our minds and offers a sweet breeze to cool our emotions and open us to positive reflection.

We have the power to enrich our inner lives and to feel love and peace, and we can reflect that out into the world, enriching the lives of all those who come in contact with us.

© 2021 Georganne Spruce

Related blog Posts:

INSPIRATIONAL REFLECTION: DANCING DEEPER

AWAKENING THROUGH SPIRITUAL REFLECTION: WHAT DO YOU MIRROR?

AWAKENING TO COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION

 

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AWAKENING TO EVOLVEMENT

Posted on April 21, 2021 | 1 comment

“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.”  Oprah Winfrey

Do you feel you are evolving in a good direction?  What do you do to keep growing as a person?  Do you like who you are becoming?

Thank you, Eleanore, for today’s topic.

Spring is a time when we joyfully watch nature evolving.  Trees with grayish brown trunks and branches slowly evolve into leafy green umbrellas.  Their branches become covered with greenish yellow or dark green leaves, depending on their growth stage.  Others suddenly burst full of white or pink flowers.  Stubby little shrubs like Azaleas blossom intensely red, calling attention to their beauty amid their flowerless neighbors.

Heredity and Family Affect Who We Are

While the evolvement of nature is seasonal, our evolvement follows many different paths.  Heredity may predetermine what we look like or what medical problems may arise during our years on this earth, but who we become depends on the choices we make and who we decide to be.

The family or environment in which we grow up forms much of who we are.  Some people choose to conform to their family’s way of life: doing the same work, following the same religion, voting for the same party, socializing in the same way.  For some, this is a good fit; for others, change is required to become an authentic person.  We may begin with one goal only to discover as we mature that we need to head in a different direction

Books About Finding Ourselves

As we evolve, the world around us changes as well.  Recently I read two books that have expanded my understanding of what being Black has meant in this country.  The first is the classic by Zora Neale Hurston, “Their Eyes Were Watching God,” published in 1937.

It is the story of Janie, a Black woman, who is searching for her true self.  She marries twice to men who want to control her every word and movement.  It is only with her third husband, Tea Cake, who doesn’t want to make her “one man’s mule,” that she is able to be authentic.  Like she says, “two things everybody’s got tuh do fuh theyselves.  They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin’ fuh theyselves.”

The other novel is “The Vanishing Half” by Brit Bennett.  It’s the story of light-skinned twin sisters who are growing up in a southern Black community.  They run away from home at sixteen, but each eventually chooses a different path for dealing with her racial identity.  One “becomes” a white woman, disappearing from her family, never revealing who she really is, while the other accepts her reality, marries a Black man and has a daughter with him who is black-skinned and thereby lives an authentic life.

Being True To Myself

Both of these books made it even clearer to me how privileged I am to be White and to have been raised in a middle-class environment, but they also reminded me how glad I am that I followed paths that even my parents and my former husband thought  foolish. Eventually, he divorced me because of the path I chose as a dancer.

I remember sitting up in our apartment at night where my former husband and I lived in a steel mill town, watching the light from the factories flow through the window.  It was obvious to me that I could never be who I wanted to be in that place.  I was teaching mostly gym in junior high, not the English or drama for which I had trained.  As a southerner, most of the other teachers ignored me.  I had only one “sort of” friend.

Fortunately, I was able to convince my husband to move back south to the town where my parents lived.  He found an excellent job in a nearby town and I worked with the National Endowment for the Arts program teaching dance in the schools and community.  I was able to be who I truly was, a teacher and dancer.   This experience gave me the background I needed to keep moving for many years in the artistic direction I had chosen for my life.

To evolve, we must decide what serves us well and what needs to change.  We have to explore how to do that, perhaps by getting help from family or friends, seeing a therapist, reading more widely, or thinking in a different way to expose ourselves to new possibilities.

Every choice we make in life defines us in some way.  When we can see who we want to become, we can more easily see the next step in our evolution.

©2021 Georganne Spruce

Next week the topic I will choose must start with an “F” so please give me some ideas of words for that blog.  Just leave your ideas under Comments.  Thanks to all of you who read these posts.

Related Blogs:

AWAKENING TO GROW

AWAKENING TO OUR HISTORIES

AWAKENING TO YOUR TRUE SELF

 

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AWAKENING TO YOUR IMAGINATION

Posted on December 17, 2020 | 3 comments

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man [or woman] contemplates it, bearing within him [her] the image of a cathedral.”  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What are your wildest imaginations? Have your imaginings come true?  How did you make them happen?

During my growing up years, the only clothes I had, other than shoes and coats, my mother made for me.  We visited the remnant table in Blass’s basement and she would select remnants for the dress, skirt, blouse, or shorts she planned to make.  She would buy a pattern that I liked, then adapt it to fit her idea of the best design for my clothing.

I was a child who I didn’t want to stand out.  I liked the clothes my mother made me but sometimes they were too stylish. I felt uncomfortable, but never complained.  Sewing, for my mother, was not just about making clothes; it was also her creative expression.

I learned from Mother that you can take almost anything and change it into something different.  You just have to use your imagination.  For years as an adult, I made my own clothes using her approach, but when I could afford to buy them, I stopped sewing so often.  By then I had developed other ways to use my imagination, writing poetry and short stories and creating interesting lesson plans for the students I taught.

Imagination and Creativity

Our imagination is at the basis of all creativity and can be used in all areas of our lives.  Last week in the blog, I wrote about how what we see and the way we see creates a vision.  In order to put our vision in action, we must imagine the route to take.  We may imagine many routes, looking at each one, evaluating the possibilities and difficulties of each approach.

For example, many young people have to work while attending college or technical school.  This isn’t an easy path.  It will eventually lead them to becoming the lawyer or nurse they wish to be and allow them to make the money they need to live a good life.  But challenges also come with the plan: arranging child care, fitting hours together for school and work, or perhaps transportation issues.

Imagining to Reach A Goal

As we put our vision in action, we may discover that what we thought we wanted won’t work.  We have to find a better way to achieve our goal.  We have to stretch our thinking to find the most effective way to succeed.  The value of imagining and exploring many possibilities may push us to look at solutions we would never have considered until our imagination took us on this journey.

Even when our physical lives restrict what we experience, our imagination is unlimited if we allow it to be open.  Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, “The world of reality has its limits; the world of the imagination is boundless.”  This is why I love writing.  It allows my mind to flow, play with words, explore ideas that I couldn’t pursue in real life.  It also enriches what I do experience by pushing me to look beyond the physical aspect.

Understanding Differences

Imagination also helps us to understand those who are different from us.  I became a high school teacher in inner city New Orleans teaching mainly gifted black students. I was not racially biased and felt I could give them the support they deserved.  But I discovered there was much I didn’t understand about their lives.  It was an education for me and I felt compassion for their struggles.  Despite the challenges they all faced, I still pushed them to imagine how their exceptional intelligence could lead to a better life and what steps they needed to take.

It isn’t easy to break patterns that have been used to define us.  Parents, teachers, or employers may continue to support personal or cultural patterns that limit who they are and how they see those around them.  But when we allow ourselves to imagine life beyond the poverty, race, hate, or economic situations of others and imagine they could move beyond those limitations, we also open the world to ourselves.

Making Dreams Come True

 In our imagination, we all have dreams.  One of mine was writing a memoir.  A part of me said, “Why would anyone want to read about your life?  You’re not a celebrity.”  Another part of me said, “Others can learn from your experience.  It may help them to have the courage to become who they really are.”  Would anyone want to read my book?  I didn’t know, but I knew that writing it would help me grow, and it did.  My imagination led me through the process, around the curves, and helped me climb out of the ditches I fell into.

Writing was one thing, but creating the format and handling the technical aspect of self-publishing almost stopped my progress.  I barely understand what I needed to do.  So, I asked other writers, and to my astonishment, two people offered to format the e-book and help with the paperback.  Then I found a class with an incredible teacher who led me through many technical difficulties.  Eventually, the pile of papers I worked with every day became an actual book.

Awaken to your imagination.  Imagination is not just mental activity. It is also energy and that energy may draw to us exactly what we need when we allow ourselves to see, imagine, and visualize our desire.  A pile of rocks can become a cathedral and a pile of papers a published book.

© 2020 Georganne Spruce

MY MEMOIR

AWAKENING TO THE DANCE: A JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS

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AWAKENING TO OUR COMFORT

Posted on October 21, 2020 | 2 comments

“People need to rediscover the ability to find comfort amidst discomfort.  It is only while enduring discomfort that we find solutions.”  Hanno Langenhoven

Have you found any comfort during this discomforting time?  How did you look for it?  What form did it take?

Most of us are definitely looking for comfort during this crazy, scary time.  The things that may usually have made us feel good like going to the movies, seeing a play, or shopping downtown in the crowds aren’t possible in many places.  In other ways, they aren’t wise things to do even if they are still possible.

Creating New Events

I definitely had to adjust my birthday celebration this week to be safe during the pandemic.  No eating out at an elegant restaurant with friends or attending some kind of entertainment event.  Even hiking in the woods was taken off the list because of problems with my hip joint.  Instead my husband and I drove up to Mt. Mitchell to see the fall leaves at many stages on the mountains.  Near the top, the leaves had already dropped, leaving only the dark green fir.

We took a little walk outside in the sun at the top of the mountain with a light cool breeze blowing.  There were no tables around and too many people so we ate lunch in the car, enjoying chicken salad, vegetable salad, and cookies.  Simple and delicious.  After coming down the mountain, we picked up gluten free crab cakes for dinner.

My husband cooked the meal and did the dishes.  Then we watched  two episodes of “Everwood” on Amazon Prime, laughing about how crazy the two main characters are who are doctors.  When we crawled into bed, I felt flooded with love for my dear partner.  Just being with him had made it the best birthday ever.

Creating Comfort From Discomfort

We had just done simple things during the day that gave us pleasure.  It’s true of course that we have had to rediscover what gives us pleasure. We’ve also had to adjust what we consider comfortable in relation to the virus.  In other words, “to find comfort amidst discomfort.”

We don’t like living with limitations but they push us to be more creative.  I have a friend who is an artist and is taking an online painting class rather than the face-to-face class she usually takes.  The paintings she is creating are amazing and beautiful! Every day when I go on Facebook she has posted another beauty.  Isolation has certainly not restricted her creativity.

Artist: Carol Czeczot – www.blackmountainartist.com

In order to find the comfort hiding beneath the limitations, we may have to decide to find pleasure in the simple things of life that we often overlook.  When I was single and living alone, I often was not with friends on Saturday nights.  Many of my friends were married and spending Saturday with their mates or family.

Without family nearby, I had to comfort myself.  When I felt lonely, I would take a hot shower, fix a hot cup of tea or cocoa, put on my pajamas and crawl in bed with a good book.  Pampering myself was nurturing and a way to love myself.

Circumstances force us to look beyond the obvious and become more creative with solutions to problems that have had us stuck in one frame of mind.  Being open to unexpected and unusual possibilities may well be the key to turning our discomforts into satisfying outcomes.

© 2020 Georganne Spruce

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AWAKENING TO THE VALUE OF CHANGE

 

 

 

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AWAKENING TO OUR MYSTERIES

Posted on October 14, 2020 | 2 comments

“I think on some level, you do your best things when you’re a little off-balance, a little scared.  You’ve got to work from mystery, from wonder, from not knowing.”  Daniel Dafoe

How do you feel about a mystery in your life?  Does it frighten you?  Does it ever reveal a new way to see your life?

Fall is always a reminder that times are changing.  For a while it is lovely with the colorful flowers and multicolored leaves on the trees.  The intense heat of summer has subsided and the air is cool and perfect for outdoor hikes with just a sweater or light coat.  For a while the mountains startle us with vivid colors like a Van Gogh painting.

And then – things drop away.  The flowers and leaves turn brown and fall.  The squirrels stuff themselves with acorns and pack more up for winter.  All of nature prepares for rest during the winter in order to return in the spring renewed.

Not only is nature in transition, humans are as well.  We are living through a mysterious time, daily discovering that our country is not what we thought it was, that our government may no longer be “for the people.”  Our health is threatened by a mysterious illness that infects equally and we have no cure.

A Time of Letting Go

Creation Spirituality, a spiritual community created by Matthew Fox, divides the year into four areas.  This time of year is known as the Via Negativa, a time of mystery, of letting go, of emptying, of sitting in the shadow, and experiencing the dark night of the soul.

Like the trees and flowers, it is a time to rest and renew our lives for the coming of spring and new life.  It is a time to explore who we really are in this time of change.  We may take the time to let the mysteries of our lives open to us.

What do we need to let go of?  Many people are cleaning out their closets and garages, letting go of things they no longer need:  books they’ll never read again, clothes they’ve outgrown, furniture that is broken, or tools they never use.  In my community there is a website where people post the free things they want to give away and the list is endless and surprising at times.

Looking Within

But letting go of physical things is the easy part.  Looking at our inner mysteries is more challenging.  Who are we really?  Even before the pandemic, were we living the life we really wanted?  Are we uncomfortable having to stay home most of the time because our family relationships are difficult?

When we experience a dark night of the soul, we often feel we are trapped in a shadow and have no idea how to find the light.  But this is the time when we must look inside and ask, “Who am I?”  Are we living who we really are?  While that may feel terribly uncomfortable at times, it may also lead us to discover parts of ourselves that are shut down and what we need to do to become more complete.

When I had to move from New Orleans, away from the rest of my family, it was not a choice I really wanted to make.  If I wanted to heal my Chronic Fatique Syndrome, I had to go to a dry climate, so I chose Albuquerque where I did have one New Orleans friend who had moved there.

We Are One With Spirit

During my time there, I discovered Religious Science church that became my spiritual home.  It was based on the science of mind philosophy, the belief that God is one with us and all that is.  The energy we create and express affects others, and what we express comes back to us.  Being part of a loving community and practicing this spiritual belief helped heal more than my body.

There have been many moments in my life when I felt depressed or confined by my circumstances.  As a single woman, making enough money to pay the bills was also a challenge.  Not being in a relationship for many years was a challenge.  Dealing with continuing health challenges that limited what I could eat was a challenge.

Lighting the Dark Within

Learning to adjust my thinking and meditate taught me that closing my eyes, moving into the darkness, could open me to the light within.  In that place, I could find peace and let the negative thinking and feelings drop away.  Clearing space within for the light to appear often brought solutions to problems I would never have “thought” of.

Many times, as I sit quietly, lie in bed dozing off, or just as I wake, a new thought presents itself.  What it means may be a total mystery.  Thinking about it may or may not reveal its meaning.  When I’m mystified, I write the thought down just as I do if I wake remembering a dream, knowing that if it is important, its relevance will be revealed later.

While we learn who we are by being with other people, by working or playing, it is our alone time when the deepest mysteries can open us to the deepest solutions.  Spirit is with us in those moments if we are willing to sit with the mystery.

© 2020 Georganne Spruce

DANCING TO THE MYSTERY OF LIFE

AWAKENING TO LIGHT THE DARKNESS

AWAKENING TO THE LIGHT

 

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AWAKENING TO YOUR TRUE SELF

Posted on September 30, 2020 | 1 comment

“Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be.  Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.”  Ellen De Generes

Are you who you want to be? If not, how do you need to change? Are you willing to make that change?

I recently finished reading “Ellie and the Harp Maker” by Hazel Prior.  It is certainly one of my year’s favorites, a story about a woman who discovers who she really is when she learns to play a harp.  The sound of the harp and the joy of playing it opens a part of herself that she had closed off to please her husband.  He didn’t like the sound of the harp and thought her wanting a harp was foolish.

While learning to play the harp and keeping it secret from her husband created many problems, her choice eventually led her to a life that allowed her to love herself and be loved for who she truly was.  It was truly an uplifting story and a joy to read.

Challenging the Norms

Growing up in the 1940’s and 1950’s, I often lived with the conflict between who society thought I should be as a woman and who I thought I was.  In a way, hitting adulthood in the 1960’s did lighten the load and offer more possibilities on the surface.  But the reality was that I was still expected to be a devoted wife and mother and put my interests in second place.  My desire to be a modern dancer did not please anyone.

Those were the expectation’s Ellie’s husband had for her, so it was easy for me to relate to this story.  But how many of us – men or woman – are not being who we truly are?

How do we find who we truly are?  How do we feel about the work we do?  Do we enjoy it or do it only because it’s the only way we can find to make money?

Going Deeper

When we feel drawn to something like music, art, or running long distance races, or any pursuit that goes against our family or society’s concept of who we should be, it is a challenge.  Often, we begin to do it as something “on the side.”  With time, it may become more than a hobby.

When this activity or desire comes from deep within and nourishes us in more than an external way, it may very well be an expression of our soul.  Our soul is our core.  It is the deepest part of us and when we do not feed it, we are only a part of who we are.

While religious beliefs and activity may be at the core of our spiritual being, feeding the soul may also be experienced in many ways.  I suspect the runner, at some point, feels totally in the moment, allowing all worries to drop away, and being at one with all that is.

As a dancer I certainly experienced the feeling of going beyond just the pleasure of physical activity.  When I am writing, the room often drops away.  Words and ideas flow through my hands into the computer.  Many of them are not expressions I would have “thought of.”

A similar experience may also be experienced by mathematicians and scientists looking for a new solution to a problem or inventing a new device.  A new idea appears that the logical mind may have missed.

Seeing the Soul Beneath the Surface

When we are being who we truly are, we still have challenges, but we solve them based on who we are, not on who others expect us to be.  As we age, our challenges may make it impossible to continue a physical activity. There came a point where I had to stop dancing or undergo knee surgery.  I realized that without the stress of dance, I could live normally with my knees and repair the problem with physical therapy.  I had seen many other dancers go through the surgery, not once, but many times because it did not permanently solve the issue.

Fortunately, by this time, I had come to realize that I was not just a dancer. I was a creative, spiritual person.  I could express who I was in many ways.  I had already learned to be creative as a high school teacher and as a writer and found pleasure in helping others explore their creativity.  Having the surgery was unnecessary.  I was fine as I was.

Many years later, I now possess the energy and strength to ballroom dance, write, and walk through the forest.  That’s all I need.

Like Ellie, when we become who we truly are, we will make “music” from the soul.

© 2020 Georganne Spruce

RELATED ARTICLES:

AWAKENING TO DEEPEN OURSELVES

ART: A FEAST TO AWAKEN THE SOUL

AWAKENING TO SPIRITUAL CREATIVITY

 

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AWAKENING TO OUR FREEDOM

Posted on August 20, 2020 | 2 comments

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” Phillip Arnold

Are there thoughts that restrict your life? Why do you think this way? What has happened in your life that helped you let go of these thoughts?

What we think and the ideas we believe form who we are.  If the source of the information beneath our ideas is reliable, it can allow us to make reasonable choices and take sensible action.  If the information is flawed, we may make decisions that lead us down the wrong path.

During this pandemic, getting the correct information about the virus has been a challenge because  of conflicting viewpoints.  Who is more likely to understand a disease than a medical doctor or researcher despite what some politicians tell us?

If we want to eat healthy food, who is most likely to give us the most accurate information about the best vegetables and fruits to buy?  The producer who grows organic products or the farmer who uses banned pesticides on his crop?  When we understand the source, we can make the wisest choice.

Why Do We Ignore Facts?

But, what if our conclusions about a subject are based on something other than facts? At times, we ignore facts because we have already developed prejudicial attitudes.  For example, if we have grown up in a cult or a strict religious environment that taught us that only our way is right, we may reject others whose beliefs are different and consider them “unholy.”

We may also have political or racial biases because of the way we were raised.  In my family, I grew up with a mother who taught me that all people were created equal and deserved respect.  Her attitude came from her Christian upbringing.  My father, on the other hand, often made racist remarks.  Fortunately, I chose to think like my mother.

My parents were both Democrats and I’ve always been politically liberal partly as a result of being at college in the 1960’s when I became further aware of the nation’s inequities. But again, how I was raised without luxury contributed to my thinking.  My family never went without food, clothing, or shelter but we never experienced material abundance.

However, if I had grown up surrounded by luxury, attended a prestigious school, had a new car to drive to college across town, I might not have noticed those who did not share my wealth.  If my parents had taught me that poor people were just lazy, I might have closed my mind to their actual situations.

Releasing Our False Thoughts

So how do we release thoughts that are not based on reality—thoughts that limit our thinking and create an inaccurate picture of the world around us?

To free ourselves, we have to accept the possibility that there is another viable way to see a person or situation.  While some people care about others because they are Christian and have been taught to do that as a core part of their belief, there are others who care about other people because they have chosen to place love at the center of their lives.

Learning From Diversity

One reason for being boxed in by limited ideas is that we simply haven’t been exposed to sufficient diversity.  In a country that is rapidly becoming more diverse, it is very helpful to join a group in which we interact with people who have different views.  It is easier to understand another point of view when we get to know the person who holds it.  By learning how and why they think differently, we learn to respect them and their differences.

By freeing our thinking, we free ourselves to love and respect all human beings, for it is love that heals all wounds, personal and societal.  Love to you all!

© 2020 Georganne Spruce

AWAKENING TO NEW THOUGHTS

AWAKENING TO OUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS

AWAKENING TO RACIAL EQUALITY

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