Tag Archives: Transformation

AWAKENING TO THE POWER WITHIN

“WHEN THE POWER OF LOVE OVERCOMES THE LOVE OF POWER, THE WORLD WILL KNOW PEACE.” JIMI HENDRIX

Which do you prefer to be—loving or powerful?  What do you do when you feel powerless?  When you act in a loving way, how does that feel?

We are living in a world where too many countries are under the control of people obsessed with power and who are committing horrendous crimes against their own people in order to show how powerful they are. But their power is only external.

 External Power Has A Limit

External power has its limit. Sooner or later it comes crashing down because its own corruption undermines its authority by not respecting reasonable limits, or those whose needs are ignored rebel. In this country, our new administration is ignoring the needs of those who elected the president; instead, he is serving the corporations who are obsessed with making exorbitant amounts of money.

In this country, the rebellion has already begun. People are speaking up at town halls and by writing, calling those in Congress, and voting. These are the external actions required in order to make the necessary changes. They require time, energy, and commitment.

These are powerful actions, but there is another equally powerful aspect of life that must accompany action. Within each of us is the capacity to love. Those who are obsessed with power often see love as weakness. But it is, by far, the strongest weapon we have.

When we act from love toward another, we fill our deepest need. When we feel loved, we feel secure, knowing that we can weather the storm because love holds us together deep inside.  Love is the power within that leads us to compassionate solutions.

Love Leads Us To Share

Loving others encourages us to reach out to those in need.  It means we act from the heart.  We act from within because we love and care about others.  If we act from love, we don’t eliminate programs that feed hungry children or provide medical care for low-income women. We don’t prevent immigrants from war-torn nations from entering our country.  If we act from love, we respond responsibly to prevent further crisis from climate change, provide health care for everyone, and support programs that train people who have lost their industrial jobs so they can move to jobs in sustainable energy fields.

 

Not Loving Ourselves Leaves Us Powerless

So, what keeps us from doing what will help everyone? Here’s the problem: we have to love ourselves before we can love others. When we don’t love ourselves, we feel weak, powerless, and need external power over others to feel we are okay. In addition, we may look down on those who have less. We make the excuse for not sharing because we believe those who have less don’t deserve help because they haven’t worked hard enough.

Our Obsession With Money Is Unwise

In this country, making money is a major way to obtain power, and now those who make the most money are determined, in many instances, to retain the power to make more money without any controls. There is no limit to the amount of money they need, and they are allowed tax loopholes that make it possible for millionaires to pay a smaller amount of tax than the middle class.

Helping Others Strengthens Us

When we love ourselves, we don’t see helping others as taking something away from us. We see it as sharing, an expression of the love and compassion we feel for others. When others are taken care of, we feel peaceful. We feel good about ourselves and our communities.  We don’t need to acquire large amounts of things to feel good.  We value family, friends, and enjoying the work we do because love grows within us as we travel this earthly journey.

Stopping Violence With Love

It is no surprise that the places where we see the most violence in our cities are the areas where the poorest and most neglected people live.  When you lack so much, how can you not be angry, and anger leads to violence. But what if we spent tax money, not on the military and wars that make the president feel powerful, but instead channel our love and money into the inner cities to create education, jobs, and health resources that will empower those who are mired in poverty.

We will never lose if we do what is loving, for love is the most powerful force that exists.  It is deep and rich and guides us to find what we need to do in life to make a difference that counts. It leads us to peace.

What loving thing will you do today?

© 2017 Georganne Spruce

RELATED ARTICLES:  The Power of Love (Huffington Post), 5 Ways to Deal With Conflict Effectively, Awakening to Effect Change

 

 

AWAKENING TO EFFECT CHANGE

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”  George Bernard Shaw

BostonZest.com

BostonZest.com

Jonquils are filling the yards with their bright yellow blossoms although it is still February and technically winter.  I want to enjoy them while I can because I am suspicious of how long they will last.  We still have March ahead, that crazy month that can’t decide if it is winter or spring, creating infinite frustration for those of us who want the winter to be over.

Much more than human nature, the nature around us has, in the past, been more predictable.  We could count on the seasons to appear at appropriate times, trees to leaf out, and flowers to bloom at approximately the same times every year.  But this predictability is less certain now with the extreme changes caused by climate change.

CHANGE IS OCCURRING

You don’t have to be a scientist to know that something different is occurring.  All you have to do is pay attention.  Perhaps those who have never been close to nature really don’t notice the changes.  It is hard to imagine that, but perhaps it’s true.  Still the scientists are the ones who have been paying the closest attention and have collected the data.

Unfortunately, we are now living in a world of “fake news” and “alternative facts.”  Still, if you take the time to pay attention to what is going on and have been living for at least 20 years, you cannot help but see some changes are real.  This winter where I live has had weather in the same week that varied from the 30’s to the 60’s.  This is not ordinary winter weather.

IGNORING CHANGE IS UNWISE

There is no value in ignoring change. When we refuse to accept change and keep believing we can recreate the same life despite enormous changes, we are dreaming.  At some point, we need to act.  For example, many people in the coal-mining parts of our country really believe that their coal mining jobs will come back.  Despite what Trump says, this is highly unlikely.  So, what are the choices?  They can move or live in poverty or live on welfare.  Those who have been able to get training in another field or have moved to areas where there are jobs have created new lives for themselves.

Since I’ve moved more than once in my life to get a better job or one I like better, I have had trouble understanding people who remain stuck to only one vision of what life can be.  But reading Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J. D. Vance helped me understand the dynamics of this situation, and I highly recommend the book.

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With Trump’s actions and threats, many of us feel fearful of how our lives will change.  After the election, I delusively hoped that somehow Hillary would become president particularly when it became clear that she had received three million more votes than Trump.  But at least I knew how the system worked and knew I was delusional.

But what we have seen in this election is that many people believe that Trump cares about them, and if they are white males, I guess that’s probably true.  But everyone else is clearly in jeopardy because of the changes he is making and wants to make.  Change is afoot like Bigfoot rampaging through the village.

CHANGE OFTEN REQUIRES WISE ACTION

So how are we reacting to this?  Some people are just throwing up their hands and saying they have to accept it.  This is the way it is.  Give him a chance.  But sometimes accepting change means acting.  It involves realizing that a change has occurred that has shifted the core of our lives.  Life is not the same, so we have to change if we want to see progress rather than stagnation.  We have to adapt to the change.

The question is always how do we do that?  Well, we have to take action, meaningful action.  Currently, huge numbers of people across the nation are protesting and communicating with their senators and representatives on the national and local level to protect their rights and the rights of others and to try to solve the problems that are burdening their communities.

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PRESERVING DEMOCRACY REQUIRES ACTION

As a democracy, people should be active.  We have to vote.  We have to educate ourselves about issues and candidates.  We have to participate in local issues.  What we are seeing now is that the populace, in many instances, will stand up for itself and that is a very good thing.

So, what can you do in your life?  With so many changes taking place, it can be intimidating.  But choose just one thing and begin to do that regularly.  Make it something that matters, and that will vary depending on where you live.  When that one action becomes a part of your life, if you have time, add another.

CHOOSE ONE ACTION A DAY

Although I’m still in the middle of trying to decide where to direct my action and integrate it into my life, I have become involved with a group working to end child poverty.  It breaks my heart to think any child is hungry, and I’m afraid there are many in my state.  We can’t always depend on the government to solve our community problems, so we have to be the ones to effect the change.  After all, that’s what a democracy is really about.

What change can you effect change this week?

©2017 Georganne Spruce

RELATED ARTICLES:

AWAKENING TO RELEASE OUR FEAR,   DANCING TO THE DANGER OF ASSUMPTIONS, AWAKENING TO TAKE THE NEXT STEPAWAKENING TO OUR MISDIRECTED PASSIONTRANSFORMING THE FEAR OF CHANGE

 

AWAKENING TO THE FIRE WITHIN

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” Ferdinand Foch

Never has a moment in my life been filled with more fire, both within and without.  Living in the mountains of North Carolina, many days have been cloudy, filled with smoke from the wild fires burning all around us.  A couple of weeks ago, the tourist town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee, not far away, went up in flames.

As did many of our dreams when Hillary lost the election and Donald won, fueled by hate, racism and misogyny.  Civility did not rein during this election, and the consequences are still fueling the fire.

Fire Can Be Positive Or Negative

Fire can be destructive when it goes out of control, but it also has a positive side.  Fire keeps us warm in the winter and cooks the food that nourishes us.  The fire within often gives us the courage to do what we think we cannot do and enlivens us to trust the fire in our souls to guide us toward positive action.

How To Face the Challenge

At the current time, we face a challenge.  This election was not as clear as it appeared to be at first.  The number of citizens who voted for Hillary now surpasses Donald’s popular vote, so there is anger on both sides.  Trump is being investigated concerning his relationship to Russia. What should be done?  What decision will the electoral college make on December 19?

Our fire within has come close to the burning point.  Threats and bullying toward those Donald degraded with his comments have increased.  It is now more dangerous to live in this country if you are an immigrant, a woman, or of any race other than white.  The foundation of our democracy is crumbling, and yet….

Around me, many whose souls are on fire are reaching out to those in need, protecting those who are being debased, protesting and speaking for the values we have always seen as the basis of this country, respect for all.  When the fire within grows, it can motivate us to do what we need to do.

Yes, we need to love one another.  We need to find peace.  But that does not mean, we do not need to act.  Expressing love and peace is not always passive.  Martin Luther King taught us that in the 1960’s.

What Can We Change?

Donald Trump won for a reason.  Some may have been drawn to his rhetoric because he supported their racist or misogynistic views, but some clearly were drawn to him because he was not part of the establishment they felt neglected them.  They clearly did not believe Hillary would help create more jobs with better pay despite her long history of helping people who need help.  They believed the lies rather than the facts.

So when our fire within heats up, let’s look around and see what needs to change and devote ourselves to participating in that change.  Some things can’t be changed.  For example, we live in a primarily technological society and we have fewer industrial jobs, so those who have had those jobs will have to choose to retrain and find another kind of work.  Life keeps changing and we have to be willing to change with it.

Some Cultures Resist Change

Recently I read Hillbilly Elegies: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J. D. Vance.  While I live in the North Carolina mountains and had a father who was raised in the Arkansas mountains, I was not aware that some of the qualities I had noticed in certain people were typical of a particular culture, in this case, the Appalachian white culture.

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According to Vance, these people find change devastating, especially having to move from their birth place, because it separates them from their culture.  Some people like Vance are willing to make the required changes to move because it is the only way they can get more education and find new jobs to support their families. Others refuse to make that choice and live on welfare or are so limited financially that they feel defeated before they start.

Among many of us, the fire within is focused on keeping life from changing; it is not focused on transformation as a positive possibility.  Despite all the good Obama has done during his years in office by reducing the debt and increasing jobs, there are many who have not been directly affected by this.

Transform Anger Into Positive Action

When that fire within expresses as anger, we need to see how we can transform it into positive action.  It is not easy for me to say this because I am not an activist.  I am a regular voter, but I do not like politics.  I am a teacher and creative person, but I know that if I want things to change, I have to be willing to participate in that change.

I am especially moved by what has happened at Standing Rock, North Dakota.  The peaceful protest of Native Americans and their supporters has resulted in some change.  The U. S. Corps of Engineers will look for another route for the pipeline so that it does not cross their land although the energy company is still resisting.  We still don’t know for sure if their sacred sites will be respected.

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I know several people who took supplies and money to the protesters at Standing Rock.  I know others who worked tirelessly on the election last month and who now focus their energy on the next local and state elections.  Living in a red state where the governor resisted conceding to the man who had beaten him in the election until last week, I have made some phone calls locally and nationally expressing my displeasure for what is going on with him and with Donald.

Change May Lead To A Better Life

In my own life, I have had to make many changes over the years, so I can understand why change is difficult for many.  All I know is that if I had not made those changes my life would not be as good as it is today.  I am grateful for those who encouraged me to look beyond my comfort zone.

When the fire within us erupts, we need to remember that allowing it to become a violent reaction will only destroy our society and lives, but channeling it into social or political action will warm our souls and save our nation.

© 2016 Georganne Spruce

RELATED ARTICLES:  Awakening to Live Without Fear, Transforming the Fear of Change, Awakening to Shadow’s Treasure

AWAKENING TO THE BLESSINGS OF RENEWAL

“We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of tragedy, of war, of necessity, people do amazing things. The human capacity for survival and renewal is awesome.” Isabel Allende

Photo:Georganne Spruce

Photo:Georganne Spruce

I have been away for a while, resting and healing my body. After two years of a variety of symptoms and visiting various doctors whose tests revealed nothing, I returned to a wholistic doctor I saw when I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. At that time, I had spent several years becoming more exhausted and unable to sleep, but my doctors insisted I had an anxiety disorder.

Now I sleep throughout most of the night and have good energy each day. Most of the symptoms that were a result of inflammation are gone. Life almost feels normal, and the healing is taking place without harmful drugs.

I am blessed to have found the help I need. It has been worth it to discipline myself to not eat many foods that I like, to take numerous supplements at specific times, to keep a schedule that sometimes has felt very stressful. This was what was required for my healing to take place. I had no choice if I wanted to be well again.

Life May Be Very Challenging

Life is like that sometimes. We have to do what is uncomfortable or challenging in order to get what we want. We have to stretch our resources, patience, or abilities beyond what we believe is possible. We have to dig deep for a strength we are not even sure we have.

As a nation, I believe we are in a similar place. We are being tested to see “what stuff we are made of.” Solving the problems that require urgent care means that we have to reach deep within to find the place where we are willing to partner with those who are different from us.

Only Change Can Bring Us Renewal

We are facing a new year, so the question is: Will we make it a new year, a time of renewal, a step forward, or will we continue to wallow in the mud of insults, sexism, and racism and ignore the desperate needs of so many people? What do we need to do to renew the basic principles of a democratic nation? How do we begin to make the changes in our own lives?

At the base of our resistance to do what we need to do is fear. It is always lurking there behind the excuses we use not to change. It may be that we have our lives so organized that changing anything feels like chaos, and we wonder if the change really will make things better. Unfortunately, most of us can’t see into the future so we have to take the leap and hope for the best.

We Need To Release Our Fear and Have Faith

Not only do we need to release our fear, we need to have faith, and the following quote always helps me go on when things are not going well. “When you have come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen; there will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.”

Jumping Over the 3rd Largest Pyramid in the World

We Also Need To Take Action

This is a powerful guide on the spiritual level just as releasing our fear is. But in addition to this, we need to take action. For example, if we don’t like the way our political system is working, we need to get out and vote, but first we need to research what is really the truth. Presidential candidates tend to twist the truth so that their opponents look like poor choices. We have to research the details of situations so that we can make meaningful choices based on reality. Does the person we choose have a background that indicates he/she will be able to make the changes we want made?

What if our first choice doesn’t become the candidate? Are we going to throw our hands up and let others make the choice for us? But if we are willing to shift a bit and vote for our next best choice, we still will have a voice in the process, and we can still make a difference.

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Life Changes

Life changes whether we want it to or not. The seasons bring us the beauty of snow, flowers, brightly-colored leaves, and warm sunny days. Each season has its delights and challenges and we have no choice but to adjust. Each time we adjust or change, we learn something new. We may have dreaded the change, but in the end, it may have brought us something better.

Do I like the rigid schedule of taking multiple supplements seven times a day? No, I don’t, but if I want to be well, I have to do it. Do I like not having tomatoes, coffee, chocolate, or spicy foods? No, I love them all, but they cause acid reflux that damages my throat and esophagus. Do I want to be healthy and energetic? Of course, so I have no choice but to do these things.

When I see the difficulties that the immigrants flooding so many countries have, the changes I’ve made seem minor. I’m still in my house. My husband is alive. I have plenty of food and heat. My home is in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. My health is so much better.   I’ve had to make many changes in order to have this life, but all the work has been worth it, and I’ve learned to do things I never thought I could do. Life is good, and that’s the choice I’ve made.

What have you done that you never thought you could do? Please Comment.

© Georganne Spruce

Related Articles: Awakening to Live Without Fear, Releasing Our Fear to Awaken, Transforming the Fear of Change

AWAKENING TO RISING LIBIDO AND SUPERFICIAL EQUALITY

“A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.”  Thomas Paine

Opened hands offering assorted multicolored pills and capsules. Close up.

Dear readers, I apologize for disappearing. Each week since writing my last blog, I have intended to write a weekly blog, but somehow life and health issues have been overwhelming. We are all aware of the violence in our society and the energy from that is creating great anger and despair and it has often worn me down.

This emotional energy has been depressing because it makes it no longer possible to delude ourselves that real equality exists in this country. Like many people my age who lived through the changes of the sixties and seventies, I can hardly believe how far we still are from true racial and gender equality.

Recently, however, I became aware of a new move toward women’s equality.

Drugs Can Make Us Equal?

While congress is fighting over whether Planned Parenthood should be shut down because only 3% of their activities are abortions and the rest give poor women the medical care and contraception they need, a pharmaceutical company is rabidly marketing a new drug flibanserin, Addyi, that now creates sexual equality—so they say.

Viagra and its pals have been around for awhile but there supposedly has been no equivalent for women. How outrageous! Women’s desire for sexual pleasure has been ignored all this time. But now the FDA has approved a drug for women with low sex drives. Isn’t that grand?

Well, maybe not. This amazing drug was twice rejected by the FDA because of its numerous side effects, especially in relation to alcohol, and its dangers are a longer list than the one you listen to in Viagra commercials. So, ladies, we now have an equal opportunity to make ourselves ill while jacking up our libido.

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Side Effects Outweigh Benefits

Among its least harmful side effects is that it may make us sleepy, so it is best to take it just before bedtime. Does anyone else see a basic problem here? But I guess this does make things more equal. We fall asleep before sex and the guys fall asleep afterwards. Maybe this could work as a good contraceptive.

It’s hard not to be suspicious of a drug that the FDA has rejected twice because of its serious side effects, but which the FDA approved after the drug company Sprout launched a massive campaign to get it approved. The drug was rejected because it is dangerous to mix this drug with alcohol. Large numbers of people drink alcohol and 30% of pre-menopausal women are binge drinkers. Could this be an example of the FDA’s priority to get in bed with the drug companies rather than getting in bed with us?

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Focus on Sex and Money Betrays Us

In this country we have become obsessed with sex and money. Why doesn’t the FDA approve natural remedies as well as drugs? For example, I’ve taken natural hormones for years. They work beautifully to balance my hormones after menopause set in, unlike the FDA approved drugs for the same purpose. The side effects of those drugs created other health problems. But the FDA has not and will not approve natural solutions that lack a long list of side effects. What’s it about? Not health, but corporate money.

We Need Healthy, Natural Remedies

There are many ways to make love and activate the libido, but we are so addicted to drugs that we think they are the solution to any difficult problem. Popping a pill is so much easier than making an herbal brew, taking a tantric yoga class, or using an estrogen cream. Eastern cultures are very aware of natural alternatives, but western doctors rarely suggest anything but a pill.

The reality is that we are living longer, so we experience a time when we can no longer function as we did at twenty-five, and that’s okay and natural. A creative, loving couple will always find a way to make love unless they are obsessed with youth.

Let’s face it—most people don’t research a drug that’s given them to see if it’s a good choice. Many people pay no attention to what they eat or check to see if there are harmful ingredients in the products they use, but if we aren’t willing to take care of ourselves by becoming informed, we risk serious repercussions.

Equal Rights 1970 March (Public Domain)

Equal Rights 1970 March (Public Domain)

We are the only ones who can experience our whole selves. The medical profession has become so specialized that we cannot depend on most doctors to cure rather than treat symptoms because symptoms are the basis of western medicine.   It is always easier to prescribe a drug for a symptom than find the cause of the problem, but more than once, the drug a doctor prescribed to me did not solve the problem; it only created more.

Of course, it’s just easier to take a drug than change our diet or exercise or learn some yoga poses that will set us afire. But we can be fairly sure that if we take this new “equalizing” drug and also have those few glasses of wine before we have sex, there will be unpleasant consequences, and they may not be the kind we can fix.

Drugs Don’t Create Equality

Unlike Viagra which increases the blood flow to the genital area so that the penis can function naturally, flibanserin performs a pharmaceutical masturbation on our brains. Unlike Viagra, it isn’t taken just when we need it, but it must be taken every day, increasing the opportunity for serious side effects.

So does this sound like equality to you? I think the drug companies just want more guinea pigs, but I’ll decline and live with this inequity. I’ll spend my time trying to create real equity in the work place, with housing and medical issues, and voting equality. Those are the equality issues that really matter.

For more information:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/fda-approves-controversial-female-viagra-drug/2015/08/18/68d34eca-45f6-11e5-8e7d-9c033e6745d8_story.html

http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/10-best-herbs-boosting-female-sex-drive/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/18/boost-libido_n_3454936.html

 

 

 

AWAKENING TO POETRY

The following poem just won first place in the 2015 Writer’s Workshop Poetry Contest

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Soul Mate

by

Georganne Spruce

 

*The Grandmothers were hot,

Glowing in the dusky light

Like globes of gold hung by firelight.

No one dared speak,

Even the children, awed,

Mouths open halfway between

Fear and delight, waiting…

Our hands, feet and body shook

Impaled upon hooks of vibration

We could not escape

As we lost all consciousness,

Awakening in the other land.

 

What would we have wanted

The sphere of Oneness to look like?

A cloud of blue perhaps

Silhouetted against fading pink light

In the west or crisp and white

Like first morning light washed clean

By dark night.

But it is a meadow of tulips

Where wise women sleep

Among the grassy knolls

And dream of the next earthly life.

 

We were infused with light

As we passed through the portal

Created by the Grandmothers,

Floating through what is no longer time.

Now weary from this wisdom journey

We find paths to take us

Into the forest of this other world

Where all we’ve known resides.

And he will be there—

The one I’ve loved through all time,

He will be there glowing like gold

In the dusky light,

Waiting to follow me

Wherever I go.

 *The Grandmothers refers to the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers who came together in 2004 to save Mother Earth.

© 2015 Georganne Spruce

13 Indigenous Grandmothers

13 Indigenous Grandmothers

A friend who recently read this poem asked me where it came from.  I don’t know.  It just appeared in my mind one day a couple of years ago, long after I had seen a film on the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers.  The first line threw me.  I thought, “What in the world is this about?”  But I’ve learned over time, not to question it but to just let the words flow until they stop.

Awakening to the Poetic Message

The ending was the most surprising of all, but it gave me hope.  A serious relationship had ended because we both realized we were not a good fit.  Until the last few lines, I just thought the poem was about me growing spiritually and experiencing another, higher dimension, but it was also telling me how to find my soul mate.

Months later, I met the man who is now my husband.  Our meeting was very synchronistic and surprising.  He is by far the deepest and most loving man I’ve been in a relationship with and a gift beyond my imagination.

So, I am delighted to receive a first prize for this poem for many reasons.  It is the first poetry prize I’ve ever won, and I couldn’t be happier.

What blessings have come to you unexpectedly in creative or human forms?

© 2015 Georganne Spruce                                                            ZQT4PQ5ZN7F5

Related Articles:  Awakening to Love All We Are, Awakening to the Wisdom of Dreams, Awakening to Be In the Moment

AWAKENING TO THE REAL YOU

“Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who you are not.” Deepak Chopra

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Who are you really? Do you answer this question by looking at your appearance, defining what you have accomplished, or evaluating your spiritual life?

For many years, I primarily saw myself in terms of what I did for a living as a teacher or dancer. Growing up at the time when the women’s movement was very vocal, I was influenced by that and chose not to describe myself as a wife although I was one. I wasn’t a mother either so I felt that what I did in the world and how well I did it was most important.

Looking for the Real You

During those years, I was also exploring various spiritual disciplines, looking for a way to understand who I was at a deeper level. I cared about how I looked, but I didn’t rate my value based on appearance alone although I was still attached to the external value of how I earned my income.

When it came time to stop dancing and later to stop teaching it, I realized my identity was still strongly connected to being a dancer. As a skinny teen in the time of Marilyn Monroe, I had felt my body wasn’t womanly enough. But as a dancer, I was beautiful because all dancers were beautiful. Becoming a dancer fed my weak ego and empowered me, especially after skinny Twiggy became the icon of beauty.

Ballet East Dance Company

Ballet East Dance Company

There was another part of the dancer image to which I related. When I first studied modern dance, I was physically weak from childhood illnesses.   Modern dance built muscles that made me feel physically strong and it connected my body and mind. Experiencing that connection was empowering because it connected me with my inner strength.

Who You Are At the Heart Level

So, it was difficult to let go of this aspect of my life and look for the real source of who I was. Over time, I discovered I was truly a teacher at heart. I love to share what I know, discuss and question. I like to learn new things and search for answers in many ways and places, and it doesn’t matter anymore if I have an actual teaching position. My curiosity will lead me onto new paths, and I share what I learn with anyone who wants to listen.

If we ask the question, “Would I do this if I were retired?” it is likely that if “yes” is the answer, the core of that activity comes from the heart and soul. It is connected to a deeper part of us that sees how that activity has value for us and those with whom we interact.

After giving up dance, I turned to writing, a passion I had as a child, but my parents had not encouraged me so I never considered it a possibility for making a living. Much like teaching, it was a way for me to share what I had learned with others, but it led me to a greater realization. I had never given up my desire to be a healer despite having given up my desire to be a doctor when I was a child.

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Healing Yourself Will Reveal the Real You

I first had to learn to heal myself. For years I had searched for a way to strengthen and heal the still-lingering aspects of earlier illnesses. I worked with the body and mind to eat a healthy diet and develop a happy balanced mind. By working with positive thinking and manifestation techniques, I felt more powerful. I finally had a new inner strength that was opening my spiritual self to many possibilities.

In 2002 I began to write Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages because I was having trouble writing and meditating but needed some way to go deeper. Each day as I wrote, a new awareness came to the surface and opened my mind. Old concepts and grievances fell away. In my memoir Awakening to the Dance: A Journey to Wholeness, the chapter that describes this experience is titled, “Breaking the Block.” But there was more than one block.

morning-pages

We Must Listen to the Heart

I often prayed and meditated, leaving space for Spirit to speak to me, but at one point I realized I wasn’t listening. I was listening with my head but not my heart.   Then I discovered that I didn’t trust my own decisions because I didn’t trust the Creator (Spirit) so if I didn’t trust the Creator how could I expect my requests to be answered.

I learned that sometimes we can’t move forward because we haven’t let go of the past, and we continue to hold on to the fear that limited us in a previous situation. Nothing will change until the fear is released, but we have to acknowledge we have fear, rather than suppressing it, if we want to heal the wound caused by the fear.

Working through the Morning Pages, I sloughed off old thinking and resentments one by one. I shed many thoughts I did not need that stood in the way of my growth. Also working with transformational kinesiology helped energetically to release unhelpful thoughts and created a community with other women who had similar issues.

Awakening to the Real You

This process of going deeper is like the snake shedding its skin. By letting go of what we think we need, we find a great freedom and grow a new skin. Without all the old ideas and negative emotions that have kept us stuck, we awaken to who we are not and who we truly are.

© 2015 Georganne Spruce                                       ZQT4PQ5ZN7F5

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