Communication | Awakening to the Dance

Tag Archives: Communication

AWAKENING TO REHEARSE OUR LIVES

Posted on February 17, 2021 | 2 comments

“The rehearsal process is an opportunity to work through things collaboratively.” Liz Lerman

How do you work through things in your life? Does that approach usually work? How you make your best contact with other people?

In the 1970’s when I was a dancer, I was fortunate to study improvisation with Liz Lerman in Washington, DC and to perform a dance she created for Choreo 18, the modern dance company of which I was a member.

Recently, I watched a video interview with her. Many good memories flooded my head, especially learning how to creatively explore my movement in more depth. But what struck me most profoundly was when she asked, “Do you use rehearsals in your life?’

The Value of Rehearsing

She pointed out that in rehearsals you try out different movements, analyze what you are doing, and look for the right movement to create what you want others to see or what you want to communicate. She then suggested that perhaps we could do this to discover how we can be in a “better way together.”

When a problem arises, how do we attempt to solve it? It may be a recurring problem to which we found a workable solution in the past, so we do what we have always done. But if the challenge is a new issue or complex, we may have to improvise by considering and trying out several possibilities in order to find a solution that is workable.

Rehearsals Show Us New Options

Certainly the pandemic has challenged us to find new ways to entertain or enrich ourselves without being face to face with others. Liz and the members of her walking group have adapted to the quarantine by using their phones as they walk through the streets or forests. Some of them live in different countries, but can still connect and walk “together.”

My rehearsals with words continue every day as I write, exchanging words and tenses to say exactly what I want to say. It’s rare that I’m happy with the first version of any sentence, so I must rehearse various ways to describe the perfect moment or spoken sentence. I may change the character who speaks or let the verbal statement become a thought.

Rehearsals Can Improve Relationships

In relationships we have to develop ways to communicate, especially when conflict arises. A rehearsal may be needed to develop a satisfactory approach to discuss our differences. Shouting never leads us to an effective conclusion so we need to ask, as Liz does, how can we be together in a better way?

Perhaps sitting down, each with a cup of tea or coffee, is a good start to the conversation. We may need to Zoom with the people with whom we don’t live. Being face to face always improves communication.

When we have discerned a way to talk respectfully with each other, we will probably have more than one rehearsal before we have created the perfect solution for the two of us. Even then our plan may often need a few adjustments.

The show that is our lives must go on. Rehearsals always bring our creativity to the surface and hopefully help us find the best solution to our challenges. During this dance of life, may you rehearse what is the best in all areas of your life.

Related Articles:

AWAKENING TO IMPROVISE OUR LIVES

AWAKENING TO OUR MYSTERIES

AWAKENING TO THE DANCE OF THE HEART

AWAKENING TO YOUR IMAGINATION

2 Comments

Posted in Inspirational Posts

Tagged Awakening, Awakening to the Dance, Communication, Creativity, Dance, Fear, Rehearsal, Solving Problems, Spiritual Journey, Working Together

AWAKENING TO THE POWER OF WORDS

Posted on March 26, 2014 | 2 comments

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing, and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi

Painting by Simon Glucklich

Do you think before you speak? Are you comfortable communicating your feelings with those close to you? How has the quality of communication in your relationships helped or hurt them?

Over the years, the thing that I remember most about past relationships is the way the other person and I communicated and how that style of communication helped or hurt the relationship.

Many People Fear Expressing Their Feelings

For example, my ex-husband did not reveal his feelings—it wasn’t manly. Another man was warm and romantic when he needed to be close to me, but when he didn’t want to be bothered, he became distant and irritable. Still another could not handle conflict or what he perceived to be conflict, and he distanced himself by literally leaving or shutting down emotionally so that no real conversation could take place.

None of those relationships lasted although I managed to stay married for ten years. My father had been a man of few words who rarely showed his feelings, so I didn’t expect much. In contrast, I had grown up with a grandfather who expressed his love in many ways, and I longed for that.

Photo: Metropolitan Transportation Authority / Patrick Cashin.

Conflicts Require Us To Choose Wise Words

We all find moments in a relationship when we need to express our hurt feelings or clarify what we or our partner has said to avoid misunderstanding. These moments may be very touchy. We worry about how the other person will react. Will this separate us further or bring us closer together? Will we choose the right words without upsetting the other person? After one of these moments in a former relationship, I wrote the following poem.

Tapestry
by
Georganne Spruce

We talk –
Our words weave webs
To trap us,
Entangling syntax and emotion
Until we catch a thread
That unravels the pattern
Or unsnags the snare
Our egos have woven.

This tapestry we weave
Is precious and rich
With dangerous detours
Like silken strands
And designs that rise
To its shimmering surface
Only after the hum of our loom
Finds silence.

We sit surprised
By the shape it has taken,
Not the form we intended
But the one we created.

Photo: Greg Henshall for FEMA

We Can Learn To Communicate Better

We are fortunate today because there are so many opportunities to improve how we communicate. Harville Hendrix’s Imago Relationship Therapy offers training in this area and includes learning a mirroring technique that helps us to truly hear one another. Nonviolent Communication teaches us to speak with compassion from the heart.

Let Go of the Ego and Speak From the Heart

How we communicate may determine our success or failure in a large range of activities because we are interacting with others in almost every aspect of life. When we are able to let go of ego’s needs and center ourselves, we are more likely to be able to hear what the other person is saying. When we release our fear and communicate with love, we help the other person to feel safe, and hopefully this will allow him to speak with honesty.

Now that I am in a relationship with a man who communicates well and isn’t afraid to show his feelings, I feel such freedom. I know him on a deeper level than I knew most of the other men with whom I’ve had relationships, and that makes all the difference. We share so much more of who we are because we trust each other to be honest and kind at the same time. Sometimes our words do surprise us, but we choose to ask for clarification before we react.

Release Fear and Be in the Moment

We all benefit when we find that field, about which Rumi speaks, where judgment is suspended, where we can be heard, where we can speak without fear, and where we can untangle the web we have woven. Whether written or spoken, our words have power to enrich our lives or to harm them. Developing the consciousness to be in the moment so that we think before we speak or send an impulsive email is a wise practice.

What have you learned lately about the power of your words? Please Comment.