“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” Oscar Wilde
What do you strive to be: a “normal” human being or someone special? Have you started developing your special talent or are you waiting for someone to tell you you’re capable?
We Need To Feel Special
We all want to be special to someone, don’t we? While I may laugh at Oscar Wilde’s comment about women, I have to admit that in a relationship with a man, I want to be important and special to him. I think most women feel this way. We want to be “the One.”
In our families, we want to know that we are valued by our parents and siblings. We all need to feel important to someone, but the truth is that no matter how many people think we are special, unless we think we are, we won’t experience that we are special.
Children Need To Be Encouraged To Develop Their Talents
Ultimately, we have to see and respect our own specialness and see that it’s a good thing. As a child I was very creative. I designed my own paper doll clothes and wrote stories. At about thirteen, I wanted to be a dress designer, but my mother discouraged me because that would be too competitive. At fourteen when I took an art class at school, my teacher characterized my latest drawing of a phoenix amid crumbling and fiery Greek columns as unusual (weird, in other words). I got the message: art wasn’t my thing.
Fortunately, my mother encouraged me to become involved with drama which I enjoyed and which led me to become a modern dancer. But no matter what I did creatively, in my family it was more important to be practical. It was okay to have fun with these creative things, but not to take them too seriously despite the fact that my parents had artistic talent. What mattered was making money, not following your passion.
Don’t Wait For Other People’s Approval
Eventually, I gave up trying to gain their approval and just followed my own path. Even if others couldn’t see it, I knew how much work and courage it took for me to become a dancer. I knew I was special even if others didn’t. I knew in the overall scheme of things I wasn’t a great dancer, but it didn’t matter. It made me happy.
You see, my ex-husband saw me as an ordinary person. He thought my dancing was a childish pursuit I would eventually tire of. My hard work and accomplishment meant nothing to him because again, practicality was all he valued. It hurt to finally understand how “unspecial” I was to him. But I learned a valuable lesson.
We Are Each On A Special Journey
We are each special and unique in our own ways. Our most precious quality may be something no one else can see, but we know about it and must honor ourselves. To expect the world to see how special we are may not be realistic. All we can do is express who we are, and if we are true to that, we will eventually draw to us the people who do appreciate who we really are.
This week two people who are reading my spiritual memoir Awakening to the Dance: A Journey to Wholeness told me that they couldn’t put it down. One man read it in three days. It’s nice to know that all the hard work I put into the book is paying off because the point to writing is to move and entertain people. But it would never have happened if I hadn’t believed I was special enough to do it. Do you know how special you are?
What gifts have you not developed because you are waiting for someone else to tell you that you are good enough? Why not take the first step today? Let me know how it goes. Namaste.
©2012 Georganne Spruce ZQT4PQ5ZN7F5