“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do.” Brene Brown
Are you as supportive of yourself as your best friend is supportive of you? Do you have the courage to own your own story even if you don’t like it? What are you willing to do to empower yourself?
I’m glad April is over because I don’t feel so guilty any more that I didn’t complete a project I promised to complete. It wasn’t anything terribly important. It certainly wasn’t earth shattering. I doubt that anyone cared about it but me. But I’m a person who values commitments and so I’m rather disappointed in myself.
I had joined the event called NoPoWriMo which meant that I committed to write a poem every day. It didn’t have to be polished and it could be a first draft. I only completed six poems. Why? Well, the rest of life intervened in ways I couldn’t ignore.
Opportunities to do events or publicize my book and preparation for a Release Your Fear workshop that I gave on Saturday took more time than I expected. A wonderful new friend came into my life with whom I chose to spend some time. Everything that pulled me away from writing the poetry was really good and more important.
Being More Conscious of Intuition
My error was apparent from the moment I made the decision to do this event. My intuition said quite clearly, “This will put more pressure on you. You don’t need to take on one more thing. If you feel pressured, you won’t be able to write poetry. You won’t be in the right frame of mind.” Clearly, I should have listened, but my sometimes overly optimistic self said, “I’ll find time. It will be a nice way to relax in the evening.” Hah!
So, I failed to meet the goal I had created for myself. Although this wasn’t anything that impacted my life in a negative way, it’s a good example of how I used to have too much of a tendency to over commit. I would get so involved with so many activities and people that I would be exhausted all the time. This felt like I was backsliding. As an introvert, I must have my quiet time each day in order to recharge, but for years, I often didn’t leave enough room for it.
Loving Ourselves to Make Good Choices
The damage I’ve done to myself by pushing too hard or over committing is one of the stories I need to own. I have a tendency in this area to make bad choices because there are so many interesting things I love to do. But if I love myself, I have to be willing to say no, not only to myself, but to others as well. Usually it’s easier to say no to myself; it’s much harder to say it to someone else.
Going Deeper to Awaken
Compared to many stories, my poetry experience is trivial. For example, feeling we failed at relationships is a much harder one for most of us. It is important that we take the time to understand why it didn’t work and the part we played. When we can do that, we can learn to make better decisions and choices the next time. But then, after the analysis and owning our part of the story, we need to love ourselves enough to forgive ourselves, knowing we did the best we could at the time.
At those moments when we are most disappointed in ourselves, can we give ourselves what our best friends would give us? Elizabeth Gilbert once said, “Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
Experiencing Friendship With Yourself
As your friend, you will listen carefully to that voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, and you will tell yourself about all the ways you are good enough. You will have compassion for that hurt child within you who sometimes feels powerless to change what makes you unhappy. You will empathize with your hurt self and reassure that self that things will be better and that you have the courage to seek out the hard answers. You will remind yourself that you deserve the very best and that what you desire will come to you.
Empowering Ourselves On Our Spiritual Journey
When we hear these things from our best friends, it feels good to know someone cares so much, but when we can say these things to ourselves and believe them, we empower ourselves. The bravest thing we can ever do is to look inside and openly observe our deepest self. The next bravest thing we can do is begin the journey to fix what needs repairing. These journeys may be challenging, but they will be more manageable if we learn to be our own best friend.
© 2013 Georganne Spruce ZQT4PQ5ZN7F5