EMBRACING THE DUALITY

I love the way mind and Spirit work together when I’m asleep to solve problems and create new insights.  How to configure a blog is a new experience for me, and although I’m pretty happy with the way my blog works, I began to think yesterday I’d like to revise some elements of the design.  When I awoke this morning earlier than usual, the new layout flashed through my mind.  As I inspected it, I realized the picture I saw was exactly what I wanted.  “Wow,” I thought, “that was fast.”  It’s not the first time I’ve noticed what seems like instant manifestation.  In fact, I’ve learned to be very careful about what I say because sometimes my wishes manifest before I’ve had the opportunity to wisely revise them.

 The rapidity with which we are able to manifest is related to the process of ascension that we are all experiencing whether we realize it or not.  In Oneness by Rasha, Oneness or God explains that “the vibrational momentum driving all Creation toward unity is the same momentum that people everywhere are experiencing in their daily lives.” (p. 15) It isn’t just our imagination that time is speeding up; it actually is because the vibration of the Universe is speeding up.  As a result, our level of consciousness is rising, for we are All One.

 Then why is life so difficult?  To help me deal with the times when my desires don’t manifest, I often turn for guidance to Oneness and randomly select a reading.  Amazingly, it is always what I need to hear. Today the words that resonated with me were “Be not so quick to judge yourself or others who stumble beside you on your sacred journey.  It is naïve to assume that a simple, obstacle-free path is a symptom of spiritual advancement.”

 It is so easy to think that we have failed in some way when life becomes difficult.  Although we love those smooth and lovely, almost instant manifestations, they are only part of the story.  The challenges we encounter are the very opportunities we most need to accept as part of our ascension. They can take us deeper into this incredible growth process to a place where the really significant experiences lie.  This is what gives color to our lives, stretching us to deeper levels of understanding.  Oneness goes on to say, “The exquisite state of balance toward which you strive is the culmination of the full spectrum of life experience, both positive and negative.” (p. 234)  The more we can accept this duality as reality, the more we are able to maintain the positive attitude that in the end, it’s all good and another important step on our spiritual journey.  Let’s all remember to have compassion for ourselves as well as for each other.

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

TOSS AWAY THE OLD MAP

Last weekend, I spent a wonderful day at a spiritual retreat on reconciliation, facilitated by Laura Collins, www.livingrituals.com. We began with a meditation, and slowly, peace descended, caressing and embracing me. I began to let go of the tension and squirming in my chair to find just the right balance so I wouldn’t put pressure on the nerve that had been creating some pain. As I relaxed, I became excited about having a whole day to look inward – a kind of date with Spirit.

One room was designed with tables as stations for different areas of reconciliation: Self, Spirit, Community, Family and Earth. At the first table, I read a poem by Joyce Rupp, and one line resonated as a theme throughout the day: “Toss away the old map.” I slowly and repeatedly allowed that thought to move through my consciousness.

I realized that the present chaos in my life exists because I have stopped following the old map for my journey, and I have realized that part of the map no longer describes the existing terrain of my life. I am in the process of creating the life I’ve always desired, being a writer, but in the last few years, the world of publishing has changed. In order to succeed in it, I must dive into technology in a way I would prefer not to do. The old map of paper books, paper letters, paper queries is rapidly becoming extinct and I grieve the lost. But as I explore the new possibilities, I can see more opportunities for writers because of the expansive nature of the Internet and the networks created through social media. It is just that, for a non-technological person, the learning curve seems enormous.

So, as I moved through this day of meditation, reflection and quiet, I released more anxiety and let the layers of protection drop away. As each layer opened to the next, I began to ask “Am I being the person I want to be?” As I thought of my personal life, tears of sadness, assured me I was not. Where was the core of peace and love I valued? The emotional turmoil of the last few months flashed across my mind. Although I have been following a new map to develop my writing and to promote it, I have been plodding down a worn muddy path in my personal life, hanging onto anger and disappointment about a loss there, weighing down the joy that often tries to surface.

During the retreat, I wrote in my journal, felt the sun pour through the window and sank deeper into the silence, reminding myself that I did not have to do anything. I wandered to a table and began leafing through a tiny book written by Pema Chodron. Stopping on one page, I read, “What we call obstacles are really the way the world and our entire experience teach us we’re stuck.” Ah ha! The mountain of sadness and hurt I have been unable to conquer in the last few months is showing me the rocky terrain where I’m stuck. I cannot reach the summit with this old map. I have to let it go and design a new map for my journey, one that traces another path to the summit that is smooth and sweet with honeysuckle.

As the vision of this new map formed in my mind, I was filled with the loving warmth and peace of the Divine Mother and assured that the new map for my soul’s journey, as well as for my work, was unfolding before me. I sat in the silence, hands open to receive it.        © 2011 Georganne Spruce

FINDING THE FIRE

“I must find my way back to the central fire to be warmed.  I must find the Source, if I am to be supplied.”  Science of Mind, Ernest Holmes

A few years ago, I was reminiscing with a friend about my years performing and teaching modern dance and how much I loved what I was doing then.  It was impossible for me to talk about it without becoming very animated.  She commented that I obviously had a passion for what I did and added that she had never felt a passion for doing anything.  She had tried a few things but none of them really caught fire.

At the time I was dancing, I always felt inspired, invigorated, alive in the most complete sense.  I began to notice that dancing felt better than going to church ever had; it felt holy.  Where did my ideas for dances come from?  Of course, I consciously created some of the movement through thought or was inspired to move in a certain way by the music, but sometimes the most amazing ideas appeared like magic.  Was God helping me choreograph?  After all, ancient Greek theatre had been a celebration and worship honoring Dionysus, the god of wine and inspiration.  When I danced or choreographed, I felt connected to the Divine as if the altar candle had been lit inside me.  When I created, I burned with a joy and a hunger.  I dared to go places I had never dared to go before.

Doing any creative activity takes one to the edge of the unknown, even if the creation is a business or product.  Only the risk-takers go there.  Perhaps that’s why my friend had never found her passion.  She preferred the safe and secure paths. 

One year I was choreographing a concert and wanted to include a jazz piece.  I didn’t usually choreograph jazz and after creating a couple of minutes of movement, I had to admit the work was uninspired and boring.  I kept trying to think of a more entertaining concept that I could wrap around the dance.  Fortunately, by this time in my career, I had learned to be patient.  I trusted that something would show up. 

One night, about two weeks into rehearsals for the concert, I woke up laughing, knocked over the glass of water on the nightstand with my flailing arms, and like a movie, the dream I had just experienced flashed before me.  A group of vagabond actors were wondering across the countryside (rolling hills) laughing, singing and entertaining anyone they encountered, each trying to upstage the other with their comic antics.  The leader of the group was called Dr. Pepper.   So the dance became “Dr. Pepper and His Traveling Companions,” a fun piece with each of the dancers vying for the spotlight in comic ways.  Spirit has a sense of humor just as we do.

Allowing oneself to be a channel through which the Divine can express is what all artists and other creative people do whether we realize it or not.  Through this creativity, we find the way back to “the central fire to be warmed.”  As a result Source supplies our needs with ideas, insights and occasionally a supportive patron or free use of a studio.

I have a friend who loves to hunt and learn about mushrooms.  I love to eat them, but I’m probably not ever going to read about or hunt them.  I do like finding the really colorful, unusual ones on my walks through the forest and spending a moment examining them, but my friend has a real passion for them.  I really like the fact that she has a passion for something and that’s part of what draws us together as friends.  We are both people who allow ourselves to be passionate.

One way to find your way to the “central fire,” to Source, Spirit, God is to find your passion.  When you follow what you truly love, Source is always there.  Most of us have forgotten before childhood is over, what warmed us when we were too young to make judgments about it or see it as impractical, before a parent said, “What are you doing that silly thing for?” or “You don’t really want to do that, you just think you do.”  If you can remember what gave you joy before then, that will be your first clue.  I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to dance.  Paul Taylor, the famous modern dancer once said when asked why he danced, “Because I have to.”

The greatest tragedy for those who are taught young not to feel or express their passion is that this cuts them off from Source.   How can you find “the central fire” if you can’t find the fire within; they are the same.

What is your passion? Continue reading

MY FIRST TIME: FINDING THE BALANCE

Seven Chakras

Image via Wikipedia

The first person I ever knew who balanced her chakras was a farmer in central Nebraska.  She was my friend, but when she excitedly shared her good news, I’m ashamed to say I chuckled behind her back.

A few years ago, after twenty years of being on a spiritual journey, I participated in a chakra awakening ceremony led by Vani, an English energy healer.  It was a powerful experience that opened me to a higher level of self-esteem and compassion but also challenged me to face deeply buried fears.  After the ceremony, these fears periodically rose to the surface, emotionally upsetting me to the point that it was difficult to function.

When meditation failed to balance my energy, I remembered Vani had given us instructions on balancing the chakras.  I began the exercise, chanting a specific sound for each chakra five times, touching its location, and visualizing the color associated with it.  Although I easily created a long exhale, the sound I produced was unsteady.  It wasn’t the smooth, melodious tone I had envisioned.  Letting go of that expectation, I felt the vibration of the sound echo through my body as I moved from charka to chakra.  After chanting for the crown chakra, I needed to integrate the work and intuitively started breathing up the back of the spine and exhaling down the front.  I did this twice and sat quietly to assess the result.

In every part of my being, body, soul, and mind, I felt centered and grounded without the spaciness I experienced with meditation.  I couldn’t remember ever having felt like this.  Even my thoughts were perfectly calm, and I’ll venture to say I was without thoughts for a moment, a condition I rarely experience.  I stood up, walked around and sat down again in amazement.

This balance continued into a second week with days free of the overwhelming sadness or anger that frequently destroyed my peace.  I began to accept the idea that this state could be permanent. A couple of days later, I began feeling out of balance and repeated the exercise.  The balance returned, and in this state I was able to live with more happiness and productivity than I ever imagined.  I remembered the peaceful look on my friend’s face years ago, but this time you can bet I was only laughing at the irony, not at her.

What do you do to find balance?

DIVING DEEP

I’ve always been fascinated with Jacques Cousteau’s underwater adventures because he visits places where I will, no doubt, never go and that hold infinite and fascinating treasures of the animal and historical kind.  Although I don’t deep-sea dive and don’t particularly like the pressure of being underwater in deep places, I am an explorer who is willing to dive deep into the human psyche and journey to places that hold precious treasures of the mind and soul.

While we certainly reward the most accolades in our society to those who make the most money and perpetuate the success of capitalism, the system is beginning to crack at the seams.  The race to make money and be successful has become an obsession, not a pursuit. The lifestyle of most Americans excludes any time to contemplate the deeper meaning of their choices and actions.  The inner development of the American psyche hasn’t kept pace with the technology and power we have to wield, and we have become a danger to others and ourselves.

Growing up, neither of my parents were particularly deep thinkers, but they did teach me there were consequences to my actions and that it paid to think before I acted.  They also gave me access to experiences that developed an awareness of the value of silence and contemplation – reading, thinking, hiking, observing nature, and prayer.  While I eventually rejected most organized religion, I developed spiritual practices that developed a life-long connection to Spirit and contemplation.  With that came a confidence that no matter what happened in life, there was something greater to which I could turn for guidance.   In this way, diving deep took me to a place of deeper spiritual understanding where the meaning of my everyday existence grew richer.

It takes courage to dive into the deep.  It’s often dark there where our shadow lives, and when we live in luxury and comfort, we have little motivation to take the plunge unless some tragedy shakes our security or some nagging dissatisfaction rises from within.  Unfortunately, those with the least motivation are those with the most money and the most power; they are the ones who most need to have a conscience and be aware.  Too often in our capitalistic society, we equate material success with spiritual enlightenment.  There isn’t anything inherently wrong with capitalism, for at its best, it encourages innovation and entrepreneurship, but while financial success and spiritual awareness aren’t mutually exclusive, they also aren’t necessarily connected.  The pursuit of material success is often achieved by focusing solely on that.

We cannot change what we are unaware of.  Lessons taught early in life can bind us to ideas that later in life no longer serve us in a positive way.  If we are unable to move out of these limiting circumstances, we are doomed to repeat the same patterns indefinitely. Those who practice greed on a grand scale, ruining thousands of lives, have only recently begun to pay the price, but in the meantime have served as negative role models for those who wish to justify extreme selfishness.  Unable to reflect upon their lives with conscience and feel a responsibility to those who helped created their wealth, they became stuck in a mindset that blinded them to their impending destruction.  There is a price to be paid for not looking beneath the surface.

Each of us needs to examine our own lives periodically, question our motives and take time to reflect on the choices we make.  Are we making responsible choices for ourselves and in relation to those around us?  We need to shift from the arrogance of thinking that we are somehow superior because we have money and power or that that is the cure to our every need.  It is often just the substitute we use to fill the hole inside that only a connection to Spirit can fill.

Choosing to be kind, to have integrity, to be generous with what we have expands our personal self-worth.  Our worth becomes an internal acceptance, not a dependence on externals that can be taken away.  Feelings of self-worth give us the courage to act from the deepest and best part of our souls.  Through a spiritual practice, we have more access to our inner world. Through meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, prayer, chakra balancing or fishing, we find the balance and solitude to quiet the chattering inner critic.  With it still, we can hear the voice of Spirit, inspiration or intuition providing guidance and warnings to show us the path we need to follow or to open our minds to a deeper perspective on our life experiences.

In addition to spiritual practices, learning about dreams, symbols, and transpersonal psychology, reading literature and experiencing the fine arts as a spectator or participant feeds our souls.  The exposure to these takes us deeper into the human soul.  Carl Jung’s idea of archetypes imbues not only our own soul experience with meaning but connects us with the meaning inherent in other cultures.  Learning to understand the symbols in our dreams can offer invaluable guidance toward understanding major issues and identifying guideposts in life. What may feel externally like our life is falling apart may, in fact, be a graduation to a higher level of consciousness.  Reading a classic like Macbeth may reveal how heroes become tyrants and in the end, sacrifice their goodness for meaningless power.

It is true that a life of diving deep doesn’t guarantee happiness. It often stirs up the muck at the bottom as much as it leads to buried treasure, but once the muck settles, we can see what was obscured more clearly.  Sometimes when we have cleaned off the mud, we find a spiritual gem of startling beauty, and we are reminded that the rational cannot give us all the answers we need.  Whatever we find diving deep will illumine our understanding whether we welcome it or not.  It’s always wise to pay attention to what shows up because everything shows up for a reason.

WHERE THE JOURNEY LEADS

Train Tracks

I’ve often lived near train tracks, haunted by the long whistles echoing in the night. They comfort me like the sight of my home in the distance each time I return after a trip, muscle-tired and eye-strained from driving, looking forward to the release of finally lying prone and warm in my own bed.  As the sound of the train disappears into the night headed for a new destination, I always long to be on it.  A gypsy at heart, home is always where I am or where I’m going.  Physically or mentally, I’m on the move, looking for that place I’ll never want to leave.

One of my grandfathers was a railroad man so I guess I come by this naturally, but all his sons and daughters, for the most part, spent their lives in one place.  I’ve been unable to do that, needing to see life for myself and not accept other people’s versions of it.

But what I’ve discovered is that more important than the physical journey in this life is the spiritual one because there are no limits to it.  Finally I’ve learned that what I was looking for wasn’t out there anyway.  It was inside me.  And it’s inside you.

Like buried treasure, we sometimes have to dig deep to find it, moving aside the distractions that fill our days and carving out a moment of time when we can sit silently with ourselves connecting to Spirit and finding the beauty in our deepest selves, finding in the silence that we are full and nurtured.