Awakening to the Dance

AWAKENING TO AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE

Posted on September 18, 2013 | Leave a comment

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt

English: A group of drummers in Accra, Ghana, wearing dashiki shirts and knitted kufi caps. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you often try out new activities or ideas? Or do you feel the most content when things remain the same? Have you ever learned anything important from doing something new?

Unlike many people who have one vocation, marriage, or passion in life, I’ve always been interested in many things. During the time I was a dancer, I was also a teacher, receptionist, employment counselor, and lawyer’s assistant, doing whatever I needed to do to pay the rent. Of course, teaching has been my primary profession, but I taught English, dance, drama, and exceptional children.

Curiosity Can Motivate Exploration

After being somewhat of a recluse as a child because of illnesses, as an adult I was always hungry for new experiences. After I started to really explore life, I couldn’t stop. Each experience created a curiosity that motivated me to try something else that was new. At times, I was fearful, but I chose not to let that stop me. As a result, I have had a full and rich life.

When we open our minds, many new opportunities present themselves. We can expand our lives simply by being present in these situations. Do we take the time to listen when someone expresses an idea with which we disagree? It’s possible that understanding that person’s beliefs may expand our thinking so that we are better able to understand people who don’t share our beliefs.

Release Fear of Differences

Many of us are afraid of people who are different from us. This cultural disconnect creates many problems that don’t need to exist. If we could put aside our fear of what is different and embrace what is similar among us, we could create bridges instead of wars.

Experiencing Other Cultures Expands Our Understanding

In 1994, I was privileged to travel and study in West Africa. It was one of the richest experiences of my life because, for a time, I was immersed in a culture very different from the one where I grew up. It touched me deeply because I saw that it was possible to live a life where art and spirituality were integrated into daily life and where family was of supreme importance. I also saw the ways that stereotypes disregarded the depth and beauty of the people whose lives were rich in ways many westerners’ lives were not.

On the daily level, the trip also taught me to appreciate the regularity with which my phone worked, hot water always flowed from the faucet, and a prescription was filled from a pharmacy whenever I needed it. These were not sure things in Africa. But most of all, the trip taught me not to accept others’ concepts of people or ideas without doing my own research.

New Experiences Can Deepen Our Spiritual Lives

New Orleans Mardi Gras Indian (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Because I lived in New Orleans when I traveled to Africa, learning about the historical origins of the city helped me value aspects of the culture I had not appreciated before, such as the origins of Voodoo as a religion, the call and response aspect of Mardi Gras Indian music, and the source of many New Orleans dishes.

My way of dealing with life changed after this trip. I explored my spiritual beliefs more deeply and worked to integrate them into my daily life, believing that this would be a path to greater wholeness, and it was.

Adventures Broaden Our Understanding

When we see life as an adventure, we welcome what is unknown or unfamiliar. Adventure is about going where we have never gone before. (Yes, I was a “Star Trek” fan.) I loved where I grew up in the hills of Arkansas, but when we moved to Tulsa, I learned about the Cherokee’s Trail of Tears and the plight of Native Americans elsewhere. When we moved to Memphis in the early 1960s, I experienced the civil rights movement. In every place I lived, I learned and grew in significant ways because each place was different.

The Inner Journey Is As Important As the Outer Journey

When I hear people say they’re bored, I’m always puzzled. There are so many things we can do to make life interesting if we are willing to make the effort. Are we willing to take on this responsibility? There are books to read, movies to see, and conversations to initiate. And in this culture, we often think we have to do something all the time. Perhaps we need to learn that just being may be the most interesting thing we can do.

It is not just the outer adventure that can excite us, but the inner one as well. What led me to a point where I felt my life and spirituality were integrated and I felt whole was a spiritual journey where I explored several spiritual practices and stayed open to see whatever showed up as a possible teacher. The journey inward has been as rich and expansive as the outer one.

Adventures Expand Our Human Awareness

Adventures are what we make them. To one person, eating Indian food may be an adventure. To another, living in India is an adventure. But what they all have in common is our willingness to try something new, to open a door that wasn’t open before, and peek in or step into a new experience. Even if it isn’t a particularly pleasant experience, we learn something we didn’t know before and that expands our lives because that’s why we’re here—to learn all we can about being human.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Adventure, Change, Consciousness, Diversity, Meaning of life, Spiritual Journey, Wholeness

AWAKENING TO TRANSITIONS

Posted on September 11, 2013 | Leave a comment

“Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.” Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

How do you feel about transitions? Does the uncertainty about the future disturb you or fill you with anticipation?

Autumn slipped in when I wasn’t looking. Suddenly there was a tree along the highway that had turned red and yellow and began dropping leaves when all the other trees remained green and lush. Soon a few older brown leaves that had clung to the oaks all summer began to fall, and some of the grass in the yard started dying.

Life May Grow Out of Endings

On the other hand, the side of the yard that was recently dug up to replace a drainage pipe has been reseeded and underneath the straw is growing new grass, an interesting contrast to harvest time. These contrasts in nature are a reminder that, we may find life where there seems to be death and death where we thought there was life.

As soon as I graduated from college, I married, and two years later, my husband came home and announced he did not want to be married any longer. I was utterly shocked. The thought of losing him felt like death. As it turned out, he didn’t leave then, and we managed to keep the marriage together for another eight years of turmoil. When it finally ended, it still felt like death.

But out of that death, I found a new life—one in which I learned how to take care of myself so that I could make decisions from a position of confidence and choose to pursue an independent life. As I felt more empowered, I no longer felt desperate to find another husband. I was creating a life I liked and would only consider relationships with people who respected who I really was.

An Ending May Lead To A More Spiritual Life

Because of the economic changes in our society, many people have had to give up the life they led and adapt to a less extravagant way of living. Others, who lived moderately, have had to pare down to the absolute essentials. It is not easy to let go of what we considered the comforts of life, but it can lead us to something else of value.

When we can spend less money on things, perhaps we will spend more time with loved ones and also have the time to look within and develop our spiritual lives. When we have nothing to lose, we may find the courage to follow our passions: create art, open a restaurant, teach in a foreign country or become a hospice volunteer. Endings can be the beginnings of a new life.

Years ago, when I taught drama in New Mexico, my students wrote a play “The End Is the Beginning.” It was about some teens who made harmful decisions like getting pregnant and being involved with drugs, but in the end, they realized they had to change, and each chose to create a positive life. I hope their characters were role models.

Transitions Are Rites Of Passage

Resisting the changes we can’t control is futile. Finding a pleasure in the new will always make the transition easier. Often the transition is a rite of passage following a major change that forces us to shift how we think about our lives. When I had to stop teaching modern dance because of knee problems, I realized that far too much of my identity was bound up in being a dancer. It took time for me to accept that my real identity had little to do with the specific thing I did.

A photo of the sculpture “Dancer and the dance” by John Safer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This transition was not easy. I felt like a ship adrift at sea. Over time, I began to see that creativity was a large part of who I was and that I was creative in many areas of my life: decorating my apartment, handling my finances, teaching English, and solving life’s problems.

My creativity was not limited to dance, and as I explored my creative nature, I looked deeper into the source of my creativity, realizing it was connected to my spiritual core.

It was then that I began to explore how to grow spiritually by reading, studying new philosophies and spiritual practices that would allow me to change in the ways I wanted to change. What had once felt like the death of a part of me became a passage through which I found a richer life. I would always be grateful I was a dancer, but it no longer defined me.

Spirit Is Always There To Guide Us

Transitions often frighten us because we can’t yet see what will replace what we have lost, but we have to learn to trust ourselves and know that we will be guided in the right direction. When we have a spiritual life, we know that there is guidance beyond what is apparent on this earthly plane. We can go within, release our fear, and allow Spirit to guide us to the next step. Every change in life is an opportunity to expand and that is why we are here.

How has a transition led to a positive change in your life? Please comment.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Creativity, Dance, Growth, Rites of Passage, Self-awareness, Spiritual practice, Transformation, Transitions

AWAKENING TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP

Posted on September 4, 2013 | 1 comment

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

How do you respond to challenging events that block what you want? When you feel overwhelmed, how do you manage to move forward? How do you know what the next step is?

It seems that some months flow by so smoothly that it is hard to remember they were here, like a river rapidly flowing unimpeded over the rocks. Other months seem to attract problems like obstacles and debris that become caught between the rocks of the river, blocking the flow of life and creating barriers to progress. August was like that, full of distractions and problems to be solved that stole precious hours from my writing time and time with loved ones.

When We Are Stressed With Problems, Take One Step At A Time

Because more powerful cell towers were being built where I live that would give me better service, I had to trade in my old phone for a new one. I did that, except the new phone did not work well. It had less coverage, and I spent hours trying to work out the problems. In addition, problems with medical and dental insurance plans arose. Then, one side of the yard had to be dug up in order to replace a drainage pipe. The seeding that was done afterwards was terribly inadequate, and we discovered that area, once covered with English Ivy, had an underground spring that had surfaced due to the excessive rains we’ve had.

So how do we negotiate the rocks and debris that appear unexpectedly in our paths? I felt overwhelmed and anxious most of the month and often had to remember to breathe deeply. I had to remind myself that when I’m hiking and have to cross a stream there is only one way to do it—one step at a time. I place a foot on a rock with a little weight to test how stable it is. Then I step to put my whole weight onto it.

The Best Choice Is The Heart Choice

So with all these unexpected problems appearing, I had to constantly stop and consider what would be the best way to proceed in each case. I had to explore and research to understand the choices and sometimes the best choice wasn’t obvious. Over time, I’ve learned that when I am ready to make a choice, it is best to turn inward and ask what feels right in my heart because my mind often holds on to comfortable, old ideas that may not serve me well.

Clearing away the debris and blockage in life requires us to let go of what is no longer of value and be open to something new. We become attached to ideas, people and things, and it is especially difficult to let go of them when they have been meaningful or useful to us. When we find ourselves resisting, it is important to take the time to explore what we feel we will lose if we let go.

We May Need To Do Mental Spring Cleaning

We often need to do some mental spring cleaning. Growing up, spring cleaning was the time we cleared out old clothes or toys from the closet—sometimes reluctantly, cleaned the windows and inside the kitchen cabinets, and waxed the hardwood floors. We made space for new things, gave order to the disorder, and found that looking through clean windows always made the world brighter.

When we feel blocked in moving forward, it’s a good time to stop and think, “Why am I afraid to let go of the things I no longer need?” Even if we don’t like where we are, it feels more secure than stepping into the unknown, or we may be afraid we will make the wrong choice. When our minds are cluttered with too many possibilities, it is also difficult to truly focus and see clearly the pros and cons of each choice.

Quiet May Bring Us Peace

However, when we are in meditation or in a quiet moment, all seems well. We can just be. We can choose not to resist. We can be the observers of our own lives, and may be able to see how the blocks that have appeared have led us to better situations. We remember the peacefulness of flowing with the breath. We can let go of our fear and know that if we are in touch with our inner selves, the solutions to problems will appear as we explore the possibilities. We will be guided to the best choices and the next step.

Challenges May Lead To Better Solutions

Not all the challenges that arose last month have been solved the way I expected, but the ones that have been solved led to something better. Because I had been given inaccurate information about the phone and cell tower activation, I was given a nice credit and an opportunity to choose a new phone of my choice. I found a better insurance policy at a much better rate. As for the yard, there’s still work to be done, but if the yard hadn’t been dug up to fix the drain pipe, I would never have had the ivy in that area removed, and I’m so glad it’s gone and will be replaced with grass.

This is all a reminder that when we trust the flow of life even the difficulties tend to lead us to something better. The next step may not be what we expected, but that could be a good thing. It’s all in how we look at it.

Have you changed your way of looking at an event or person lately? Please Comment.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Accepting Change, Awakening, Going Deeper, Inner Peace, Letting Go, Problem Solving, Silence, Spirituality

AWAKENING TO THE JOURNEY THAT IS

Posted on August 28, 2013 | 2 comments

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I needed to be.” Douglas Adams

Is your life the life you envisioned ten or twenty years ago? How have your dreams and ambitions changed? Are you at peace with the life you have now?

I had a lovely evening of conversation with good friends the other night. All three of them had academic careers in colleges and universities and could share stories of this time with each other. There was a time when I had aspired to such a life and had taken a position in the middle of Nebraska thinking that would give me the experience I would need to move on.

Dealing With Life Can Be Challenging

Very quickly, the cold in Nebraska caused on-going joint pain that made it impossible for me to stay. I moved to Denver where there were more opportunities and I found part-time work at several studios and colleges. However, the full-time position I desired never developed. For years, this was a source of disappointment and grief. Why was I not good enough?

In talking later with one of my friends about that night’s conversation, he complimented me on how courageous I was to continue following my dream to teach dance even when I lacked the security of a stable position. As I thought back on those years, I never thought I was courageous. I just did what I had to do to keep teaching dance because I loved it so much. I followed the journey where it took me, and I’ve never been sorry I did.

Life’s Surprises May Open New Opportunities

When life doesn’t take us where we want to go, we can see it as our failure or blame it on others, or we can assume that what we thought we should be doing isn’t what we should be doing if we look at the situation from another perspective. Life’s unpleasant surprises may actually open us to opportunities that will benefit us more than the ones we chose.

A Spiritual Perspective Comes From the Heart

When we see our journey through life from a spiritual perspective, how we need to live may be quite different from what we imagined. After a difficult time teaching in New Mexico high schools, unable to find the next job, I turned again to writing, and soon it became clear that was what I was supposed to be doing. Eventually this path led to publishing my memoir Awakening to the Dance: A Journey to Wholeness and fulfillment of my dream to be a writer and to inspire others to use the challenging experiences of their lives to learn and grow.

Clearly, in this life, my heart has taken me in a direction different from the one my head wants me to follow. Perhaps the lesson I most needed to learn was not how to have the security of a stable job, but to learn to have courage and follow my heart. What if all the things that have happened that seemed negative were only lessons that had to be learned to arrive at a better place?

So often in this society, we have been taught that the things we have or the position we have defines our level of success. We focus on the outer and feel we are failures if we don’t have those things, but our humanity is not measured by things. It is measured by our ability to love, share, and find a deep and peaceful connection within that makes us aware that we are all One.

We Can Find Joy Being In The Moment

This morning, about ten turkeys nibbled across my lawn—some adults and some the youngsters that were born in the spring. I was thrilled to see them again, and I realized how little it takes to make me happy now. I am in the moment more, connected to the nature around me, and on most days I take the time to listen to the birds or notice a new flower blooming. The simplest thing brings me joy.

When I think about the past, I remember so many times when nothing made me happy, when I resisted changes I didn’t want and judged myself and others constantly with my perfectionist-programmed mind. Although dancing taught me the beauty of being in the moment, it took me much longer to discover the value of being in the moment in my daily life and going with the flow of life.

If my life had been the perfect life I envisioned, would I have learned what I most needed to learn? Who knows? But what I know is that I’ve learned about courage and perseverance and this journey taught me to trust the flow of life. Earlier, I could never have imagined feeling the peace and confidence I feel now. I am grateful for whatever it took to bring me to this place, for I have found so much of what I need by following my journey’s circuitous route.

Follow The Journey Wherever It Leads

We are living in a time when we must be creative to survive. As any artist, composer or choreographer knows, you may begin the art work with a specific idea of how it will look or sound, but when you begin creating it, it will have a mind of its own and may easily lead you down a different path. Our lives are like that. We may follow our intentions, but our entire universe is changing. Holding on to the way things were will not serve us well. We must trust that the journey will lead us where we need to go.

What are the surprises you have experienced in your journey lately? Please comment.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Acceptance, Change, From the Heart, Inner Peace, Love, Sharing, Spiritual Journey

AWAKENING TO SHARE HAPPINESS

Posted on August 21, 2013 | 2 comments

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha

How often are you happy? Do you feel you have any control over your moods? What do you do to lift your mood when you are down?”

We Are Drawn To Happy People

Yesterday was a happy day for me. A close friend who was traveling all summer returned, and we took a walk through the botanical gardens where the Black-Eyed Susans were overly abundant and the Joe Pye Weed towered beautifully above us. As we began our walk, a man who works there approached us and began sharing stories about the effect of the intense rain on nature, why the butterflies were late, and how happy he was that they finally appeared.

English: Joe Pye Weed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We’ve talked with this man before and learned fascinating details about the plants, but what always strikes me about him is how happy and enthusiastic he is about his work. His energy lifts me, and I feel happy to know that someone is taking such good care of this beautiful garden that I love so much. Clearly he is following his passion.

Recently, I talked with another man, Charles Davidson, who is following his passion to create a website, Life Turnings, about spirituality and the healing arts. His excitement about the people he can reach, the conversations the blog will stimulate, and the opportunity to increase awareness on a variety of issues is contagious. I was impressed with what he hopes to accomplish, so when he asked me to write for the site, I agreed. My first piece, a blog I had written previously for this site, is featured on the home page under a beautiful picture of Fuchsias. I hope you will visit Life Turnings.

Photo: Charles Davidson

Our Positive Or Negative Energy Affects Others

When we encounter people who are happy, their energy is expansive and uplifts us if we are open to sharing their experience. Although we think of being empathetic when someone is unhappy so that we can understand and offer them support, we are also empathetic when we share another person’s happiness and support their positive experiences too. As we connect with their light, our light expands.

Have you ever rushed up to a friend or family member with what you considered wonderful news only to have them put you down with their negative response? Their negative energy depletes your energy even if you don’t think their comment is valid. When this pattern is repeated over and over in a family where approval is so important, it may over time teach a child that it is not acceptable to express happiness. Sadly, I once knew a person who had been taught that no strong emotion, even happiness, should ever be expressed.

Positive Attitudes Create More Positive Energy

If another’s expression of negative energy can diminish our energetic vibration, then the expression of positive energy can increase it. But how can we create more positive energy? Self-awareness is the key. What makes us feel good? What thoughts, friends, activities, or food bring us joy and are good for us? We have to pay attention to our reactions to situations and ask, “How can I best respond to this situation or solve this problem so there is a positive outcome for all concerned?” We must learn to be the light in the difficult situations that confront us.

We must be willing to learn and grow. In our society, we are much too quick to choose what appears to be the easy way out of difficulties. This often leads to addiction because we’d rather pop a pill than find the root of the problem which could cause us even more pain—except the pill won’t help us find a solution. We must be willing to learn practices, read books, and take workshops that will help us become more aware of how to face life feeling confident that we can deal in a healthy way with our challenges and maintain a connection to happiness.

Release the Fear That Blocks Us

Negative feelings are always based on fear, and we can learn to direct our minds to release the fear we feel about a situation. When we let go of the fear, it is easier to see real solutions to the problem and follow our inner guidance. Fear often causes us to assume problems can’t be solved so we give up. Assuming they can be solved usually motivates us to search more diligently for a solution.

Seeing the Positive Uplifts Us

We can also choose to focus on what is positive and consciously look for positive ideas and events that will lift the vibration of our energy. For example, we have had excessive rain where I live, and the dark, dreary days can easily drag me down. On rainy days, I look out at my deck where the flowers are blooming profusely, and I’m grateful I’ve hardly had to water them at all this summer. I’ve enjoyed their beauty at no expense. The grass in my yard, which was sparse for many years, is now lush and green. When I hike in the mountains, I’m surrounded by abundant shade and more wild flowers than I’ve seen in years. I can focus on enjoying the beauty created by the rain or I can make myself and others miserable over the weather, an element I cannot control.

By taking responsibility for creating happiness in our lives and sharing it with others, we contribute to the well-being of all those around. Our positive energy can draw to us those with a similar energy and expand the happiness we experience. It can also help heal those who are struggling with life. How often has a smile brightened your day? You can be the candle that lights the world.

What makes you happy today? Please comment.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Consciousness, Happiness, Inspirational, Raising Vibration, Share, Spiritual Journey, Transformation

AWAKENING TO KINDNESS

Posted on August 14, 2013 | 2 comments

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” Dalai Lama

Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth and current Dalai Lama, is the leader of the exiled Tibetan government in India. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you consider yourself a kind person? Are you surrounded by kind people? What has created your ideas about what kindness is?

Qualities of Kind People

I am always deeply touched by kind people, and there are several things that I notice about them. They are people who are at peace with themselves. They look for what is positive in others and in situations. They are empathetic and compassionate.

These are the kind of people I want in my life, the people I can trust who, when there is conflict, will talk respectfully about our differences and work things out. I can look back on my life and see the many times when I tolerated behavior in relationships and friendships that was less than respectful of who I was and my needs. Now I find that I am less willing to ignore such disrespect and that more of the people I draw into my life are kind.

What has changed and why is kindness so important to me now? Peace, love, and joy are now my priorities.

Kindness Is Based On Loving Ourselves

I recently read an article “The Magic of Unconditional Love: An Interview with Don Miguel Ruiz” by Diane Marie Bishop in Science of Mind Magazine. In the article, Ruiz talks about how we cannot love others unconditionally unless we unconditionally love ourselves. Over the years, my ability to love myself has grown. I have let go of my need to be perfect or to fit someone else’s standard. This acceptance has given me more peace, and I have learned to be kinder to myself and others.

It is all connected. When we love ourselves, peace and joy automatically become part of our lives and the expression of kindness becomes a natural thing. We are less reactive and more aware of how our words and actions affect others. We are also more flexible and able to adapt to the needs of others when it is appropriate. But we also are at peace with who we are and can say “no” when we must and do it in a way that is kind.

Negative Thinking Blocks Kindness

It was a challenging week last week with many every day difficulties arising. It was a week of important teachings, a reminder that, instead of getting caught up in another’s negativity, I need to tap into my inner peace and stay there. I wasn’t always able to do that, but I will continue to pursue that path. Experiencing peace and love is my priority and what I want to share with others.

When we love ourselves, we are more likely to see life as positive. When we are feeling positive, we are more likely to respond to life in a positive manner and act kindly. But seeing the same situation from a negative point of view may completely change how we experience an event. Negative thinking can be a powerful block that supports our egos’ worst choices and keeps us from acting kindly from the heart.

Recently, I offered to loan a friend a library book I’d finished so she could also read it before it was due. With a long waiting list, it was hard to get. She emailed me to leave it in her mailbox, but I wasn’t comfortable with that due to the torrential rains we were having, and it belonged to the library so I didn’t want to risk its getting damaged. Since we lived close to each other, I asked her to give me a call when she was home, and I would bring it to her or she could pick it up. She thought my concern was foolish, and she became angry that I wouldn’t do this the way she wanted, rejected my offer, and refused to return my phone call so we could work it out.

I was rather shocked by the whole situation. Her response to the situation seemed harsh and out of proportion to the reality although, in the past, she had been disturbed about situations she viewed as negative when I didn’t see them that way. Still, what created this problem? Had I been unkind without realizing it? Was she stressed about something or angry at me for another reason? I didn’t know. By focusing on the negative rather than the positive aspect of the situation and refusing to communicate, my friend created a problem that didn’t need to exist and eroded the trust I felt for her.

Kindness (Photo credit: -RejiK)

Positive Thinking Supports Kindness

An experience with a sales person last week when I had a problem with a new cell phone also illustrated the consequences of positive and negative approaches to situations. This man made it clear that he only had time for people who were there to buy something although I had been required to trade out my phone for a new one due to network changes.

Because of his lack of customer service, I decided not to do business there again. Instead I went to another store where a kind young man showed concern for my problems and took the time to show me how to use the new phone. Perhaps he was just a kind person or perhaps he understood making a customer happy might mean more sales in the long run. Either way he took the higher road.

Kindness May Be Expressed With Empathy and Compassion

Two other ways we can express kindness are through empathy and compassion. They are beautiful expressions of our love and peace. With empathy we are able to put ourselves in the other person’s place and feel what he is feeling. We may make this connection because we’ve experience a similar situation or because we use our imagination to envision what he is feeling. Compassion takes us one step further emotionally to a place where we want to help.

To share our feelings of concern through either of these expressions is an act of kindness. We care if another person is in pain or difficulty and want life to be better for him/her. I have another friend who frequently expresses these qualities. The trust I feel toward him because of this is huge. Whether he thinks my feelings are foolish or not is irrelevant. What he offers me is concern and empathy first. If we argue, it becomes a respectful conversation that allows us to understand each other and helps our relationship grow deeper. As a result, I feel loved and at peace with him. I can always trust that he cares about what is best for me.

Allowing kindness to become an important part of our lives can truly change them for the better, for kindness is part of the holy within us. It’s just another aspect of treating others as we wish to be treated. Perhaps it is also another way of changing our own little worlds and contributing positively to the larger one.

What kindness have you expressed or experienced lately?

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Tagged #WPLongform, Compassion, Empathy, Kindness, Love, New Age, Peace, Spirituality

AWAKENING TO THE JOURNEY OF ONENESS

Posted on August 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

“The process of awakening is not one in which a definitive threshold is crossed and one is then enlightened, transformed, or ascended. Spiritual growth is not focused on a destination, but rather, on the journey itself.” Oneness, Rasha

Do you feel you are enlightened? Do you believe that your spiritual journey is on-going or that there is a goal you hope to reach? How do you stay connected to your spiritual self?

I’m the sort of person who keeps lists and enjoys checking items off when I complete them. It reinforces my sense that I have accomplished something. I often wish that my spiritual journey were that neat – that there were various levels at which I could clearly see what I’ve accomplished. But it just isn’t like that.

Remain Open to New Experiences

Enjoying the on-going journey of life requires us to remain flexible and open to new ideas and new experiences. The reality is that even driving across country following a plan and a map we may have to make adjustments and take detours. A rock slide, sink hole or flooded river may force us to find another route – to try to drive through this disaster would be insane. So why do we think that our lives and spiritual journeys must follow a neat, unchanging pattern?

Many Practices Can Awaken Us To Oneness

If the journey is on-going, and by virtue of being a journey, it requires movement, how do we manage that? Oneness states, “Know that the truth you seek is within you.” Some find that connection through meditation, prayer, chanting, experiencing nature, or any number of spiritual practices. All these practices can lead us inward to our own center where we are One with Oneness or Spirit.

Separation Is An Illusion

Of course, we never are separate from Spirit. That separation is an illusion created by our egos when fear intrudes, and for the moment or for months we may lose our sense of connection unless we have a daily practice that keeps us tuned to the inner frequency. But when we do lose that connection, finding it again is part of the journey too, and it is especially challenging in our busy world.

Looking down from the Blue Ridge Parkway near Craggy Gardens. Photo taken with a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ20 in Yancey County, North Carolina, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Traveling the Blue Ridge Parkway, near my home, requires travelers to be flexible, especially this year with the torrential rains we’ve had. Areas are often closed due to rock slides or portions of the mountain sliding onto the roadway. There are often detours – the straight path is just not always available. So, we have to travel alternative routes and eventually we are able to get back on the Parkway. In the meantime, we see towns and landscapes we’ve never seen before. We may find that those routes will lead us to other places we would like to go that we were not aware of before we took the detour.

A Spiritual Journey Leads Us Deeper

Our journey is like that too. We have to be willing to embrace change when it appears in our lives. If I were to draw a diagram of my journey, it would resemble a series of spirals intertwined. I explored the mind/body connection through dance, meditation, how to release my fear, Unity and Science of Mind principles, and I’ve always been close to nature. After exploring one area, practicing it, and finding the value in it, I would reach a point where there was still a longing for more or a question that could not be answered.

There were also moments of depression. I would think, “I’m practicing the principles. Why aren’t they working?” But with time those principles became a part of me, contributing to my wholeness, becoming another piece in the puzzle. There were many experiences of losing jobs, loved ones, and security. Each experience forced me explore my core and go inward once again to the places where I knew I needed to do my deepest healing. And when it seemed nothing could alleviate the sadness or disappointment, I would once again have to let go of my expectations and be willing to let go of what was not serving me and face the unknown.

Oneness Is Always At Our Core

But at our cores, Oneness is always there whether we are aware of it or not. Because of that, we can always return to it. We have to let go of our busy routines, our anger, our hurt—any resistance that keeps us from just being, because it is only when we are just being that we can truly find Oneness and heal ourselves in that silence and love. These moments are the rest stops on the journey that renew us. They are the moments when we are finally still enough to hear the guidance that has been trying to get through to us so that we know what path would be most beneficial.

Life is a process just like Nature. The seasons change; each brings a different experience, and each experience brings us a new opportunity to learn, to explore, and to journey where we have never been before. Where we are now is merely one experience of the journey, and there are many more to come that will bring us a broader and deeper understanding of our spiritual lives.

Related Articles: How We Can Grow Through Spirit, Edgar Cayce and Oneness, Oneness by Rasha

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Tagged #WPLongform, Going Deeper, Inner Peace, Inspirational, Oneness, Spiritual Journey, Spirituality, Transformation

AWAKENING TO OUR RESPONSES

Posted on July 31, 2013 | Leave a comment

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict – alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.” Dorothy Thompson

How do you respond to situations that don’t please you? Do you usually become angry or walk away when conflict arises? What response to conflict works best for you?

We Can Choose Our Responses To Conflict

Most of our lives are full of challenges that require or stimulate some kind of response. How we respond to the situations that upset us often determines the outcome of these situations. When we can respond peacefully or do not react without thinking first, we tend to have a more successful outcome without creating more conflict. But when we immediately react to what we don’t like with anger, we are almost sure to receive the same response.

When I taught in high school, managing conflict among students or their responses to me was a daily occurrence. If a conflict was serious enough, I could send the students to a counselor, but if the conflict was with me, I needed to solve the problem. There were always students who refused to get quiet and go to work. Some were disturbed about something that had happened in their lives; others were testing their boundaries with authority. Just asking them to settle down didn’t work.

What proved to be successful in most situations was for me to ask the student to step outside the classroom door where he could not see the other students and they could not see him, but where I could see both. Quietly, I would ask the student if he were upset about something and needed to talk about it. The answer was usually “no.” Then I would explain why his behavior was a problem and give him a choice. He could return to the room, not bother other students, and do his work or I would send him to an administrator. Ninety percent of the time, the student chose to return to the classroom and do his work.

We Can Create Peace By Listening

We always have a choice when conflict arises. If we take the time to think creatively, we can resolve our differences peacefully. Sometimes the person who is upset simply needs someone to listen to her and by expressing what she is feeling to a witness, she is able to release the anxiety or anger. We can connect in a loving way by saying, “I can see you are upset. What is really bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?”

Letting Go May Be the Best Solution

But there are also times when we cannot resolve a conflict. When we have tried and the other person refuses to participate in solving the problem, we may need to simply let it go. We can only take care of ourselves; we cannot force another person to do anything. The inability to work together to solve personal problems is a common reason for divorce. It takes both partners to solve the conflict.

There are also times when the anger that arises in a conflict becomes abusive verbally or physically. At this point, the best alternative is to walk away. People who habitually respond to conflict in an abusive way need professional help. We cannot change them – only they can choose to change.

Art Is A Peaceful Response To Conflict

In today’s world, we are all surrounded by violence, and while we can work with organizations that attempt to prevent it or become politically involved and protest what we are against, there is still another way to respond that touches me deeply. That is the response of the artist who in his/her work reveals deep truths through non-verbal media. Nick Cave’s exhibit at the Denver Art Museum last month was an excellent example.

English: Nick Cave (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Nick Cave, an African-American artist responded to the violent beating of Rodney King in 1992 by creating art that explored the issues faced by an African-American man. He began to create “Soundsuits,” suits made from found objects that made sounds and could be worn by people as they moved or danced. (Cave was an Alvin Ailey-trained dancer)(see video below)

After he created the first one, he was surprised. “Once I stepped into it I thought about building this sort of second skin, you know, a suit of armor, something for protection purposes. Then I started thinking about protest. In order to be heard you’ve got to be aggressive, you’ve got to speak louder. He then decided to call it the “Soundsuit.”

Camouflaging Our Real Identity Causes Conflict

Looking at Cave’s “Soundsuits”, I experienced a range of emotion from awe to fear. I thought of all the ways we camouflage who we are behind masks of clothing, speech, and mannerisms. As a woman growing up in the South, I was taught not to say negative things or create conflict. For many years, as I learned to express my true feelings in situations, I felt guilty when I did find the courage to express ideas that others might not want to hear, particularly men. I knew what it was like to live behind a protective identity.

Processing Our Intense Emotions

Processing our thoughts through any artistic expression or journaling, as I often do, may help us to alleviate the intensity of the negative emotions we want to express but which will create conflict. Having some way to process them allows us to take the time to understand what we do need to express and how we can do it so that it will be heard.

You don’t have to be an artist to find creative responses to conflict. Just stopping long enough to take a deep breath does wonders. You do have to be aware that it is your ego that is so attached to the fight and always wants to be right. When we let go of our ego attachment to the situation, we are more able to see the spiritual elements in the conflict and hopefully find spiritual solutions that will serve everyone well. As Wayne Dyer says, “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Consciousness, Denver Art Museum, Listening, Peace, Positive thinking, Resolving Conflict, Spiritual Awakening

AWAKENING TO LOVE THE SILENCE

Posted on July 24, 2013 | Leave a comment

“Keep silent, because the world of silence is a vast fullness.” Rumi

Do you enjoy the silence or does it make you uncomfortable? Do you avoid silence or embrace it? What have you learned from the silence in your life?

What Is Silence?

We often think of silence as the absence of something: the absence of noise or conversation or the space between actions, but Rumi suggests it is much more than that. When I think of the silence in my childhood, I remember the many days when I lay in bed ill. I did listen to the radio sometimes, but often I read or drew paper doll dresses, or watched the birds or our pregnant cat trying to balance on the thin branches of the chinaberry tree. For me, silence was creative or thoughtful time. I had a lot of time to think about life at a young age.

At that time in my life, I rarely felt lonely in the silence because my mother or grandmother was always in the next room. It was only later as an adult after a divorce or losing a friend that the silence became a lonely place. Of course, as an introvert, I always needed some silence for rejuvenation, but for years, I experienced had mixed feelings about silence.

Silence Can Stimulate Creativity

At times, when silence appeared, I welcomed it, especially when I was a high school teacher. It was such a relief, for a little while, to be away from the noise of a classroom full of spirited teenagers, and have the space and time to do my own thinking. Silence was creative time too, and out of that silence arose poems, essays, and dances. When I needed to think or plan, I welcomed the silence and lack of distractions so I could focus on the task at hand.

Silence May Create Discomfort

However, when I had nothing to do, I often felt uncomfortable with the silence, like something was missing. I was uncomfortable doing nothing. Only when I was near Nature did the silence feel comfortable. But living in a city for years surrounded by noise, rarely walking through the forest as I did as a child, I lost touch with what I had valued so much in childhood.

It wasn’t until I started to meditate that I began to love the silence again. At first my monkey mind seemed impossible to still, but with time, the practice worked and led me to other spiritual practices that improved my life, like learning to release my fear and envisioning what I wanted to manifest. They all had one thing in common – I had to sit in the silence and find the silence within in order for a change to occur.

Silence Is A Way To Go Deeper and Love Oneself

In the silence, I found a deep peace simply by being there. I let go of my need to always be doing. I began to experience just being, and let go of any judgments my ego tried to create to distract me. In the silence, I became more connected to Spirit and the spiritual guidance we can all hear only when we are willing to be an open channel.

In the silence, where I did not need to prove anything or do anything, I learned to love myself, for I could feel Spirit’s love for me and knew I was lovable. Feeling this peaceful love allowed me to let go of all the ways I felt I was inadequate and understand I needed to learn to love others more and release my judgments of them.

In Silence We Become One With All

Now, I am able to experience all the richness of silence without any discomfort. Sitting in the silence gives me the same pleasure as soaking in a warm bath. When my life becomes too busy, I long for the silence, especially the silence of not thinking. In the silence, the interruption of bird songs, breezes, sweet thoughts, physical relaxation, and the release of whatever I do not need at that moment all heal the rough edges of my soul, and they remind me that what is out there in the world pressuring me is not what is important.

What is important is that I remember I am One with All, and from this place of peace, in the silence, what I need to know will come to me, and what I need to know to heal, will be revealed when it is time to heal. As Ram Dass says, “The quieter you become, the more you hear.”

What is your experience with silence? Please comment.

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Tagged #WPLongform, Going Deeper, Love, Meditation, Oneness, Peace, Silence, Spiritual Awakening

DANCING TO CHALLENGING EXPERIENCES

Posted on July 17, 2013 | Leave a comment

“Experience is not what happens to a man (or woman); it is what a man (or woman) does with what happens to him (or her).” Aldous Huxley

Do you enjoy having new experiences? Have you had any unpleasant experiences lately that taught you something you needed to learn? Can you see any experience as a door to deeper understanding?

Last week I traveled to Denver where I had lived in the 1980’s. Needless to say, it is huge compared to the Denver I knew, the one with only three skyscrapers, the one without a huge botanic garden, the one where trees did not completely overshadow my apartment building.

What I remember the most about the time I lived in Denver was that I found a spiritual path that has served me well, one that does not keep me attached to one set of ideas, but one which has taught me to trust all possibilities and be open to new experiences.

Enjoying New Experiences

I had several new experiences on this trip: deep meaningful conversations with new friends, a wonderful day in the Denver Botanic Gardens, the exposure to “Soundsuits” created by Nick Cave in an exhibit at the Denver Art Museum, a trip to Vail through the magnificent and enormous Rocky Mountains, and four dry days of beautiful sunshine—something we haven’t seen in Asheville in months. I felt I was dancing with delight all week.

Despite this philosophy at the core of my life of being open to new experiences, I like the comfort of routine: regular meals with healthy, organic food, a similar bedtime each night and a good eight hours of sleep, and some meditation time. For the most part, these comforts were easily integrated within the vacation time because my friend and I were staying with very accommodating friends.

Events Are Spiritually Challenging When Unexpected

However, our actual trips to and from Denver were the most irritating experiences I’ve had in years like the early days of learning to dance when every step was stumbling and awkward and rarely flowed with grace. These red-eye flights left very late in the evening around 12:00 or 1:00 am and took me way beyond my comfort zone. They totally disrupted my eating and sleeping routines. The trip to Denver included the flight to our major airport being cancelled close to the time we planned to leave for the local airport, so we had to drive for two hours to get the flight which was then delayed for an hour. We had been unable to choose our own seats and the ones assigned to us were the last seats which do not tip back. The last time I had been forced to sit in such seats, I deplaned with serious back pain. In this case, there were no pillows available to support my back and no extra seat to which I could move. In addition, when we tried to relax and sleep as most people around us were trying to do, a stewardess behind us chattered loudly and incessantly.

So, what was I to do with this? It was impossible to relax physically. This was a three hour flight. I was accepting of the need to drive rather than fly to our major connective city. I was relatively patient when the flight was delayed. But by the time we boarded the plane, I was feeling that this was too much, and my patience had run out. I felt frustrated and angry at everyone who had contributed to this problem. All I wanted was to go to sleep, but this was impossible because of the discomfort. I hate to admit it, but I think I snapped and glared a lot.

Frustration Is the Result of Not Letting Go of Expectations

But what upset me the most about this experience was that I was unable to reach a place of peace that would have allowed me to accept the situation, go within and let go of my attachment to the discomfort. I have done this in other situations. Why not this one? Probably because of my expectations.

My expectations were that I would have a comfortable seat where I could lean back and sleep. I thought I would have a pillow available. I didn’t realize they were no longer available except in first class. If I couldn’t sleep, I thought I would just read, but I was so upset, I couldn’t focus on reading. Most of all, I hated being in an environment where I had no control over my personal physical comfort, and I was unable to adjust my mind to accommodate the reality. I was stuck mentally, unable to take the next step.

Fortunately, I was able to let go of my frustration about the trip as soon as I arrived in Denver. I was so grateful to be able to sleep on a comfortable bed and immediately plunged into the joy of being there. By the time we left for home at the end of our visit, my friend and I knew what to expect. Although the trip home was also in the middle of the night, our plane left on time. This time I had no expectations and was able to be in the moment each step of the way.

Releasing Expectations Creates Inner Peace

There were still no pillows available, but the seat back tilted a little. I took a lot of deep breaths, reminded myself to be patient, read a little, did something close to meditation, and reflected on how grateful I was to be traveling with a dear friend, to have had a few days of sunshine, and enjoy the wonderful uplifting energy of a city where my life had been transformed. Although I was still physically uncomfortable, I was able to be in the moment more.

Would I choose to take another red-eye flight? Probably not, but if I did, I’d emulate some of the smart teenagers I saw traveling. They brought their own pillows and sometimes a blanket, curled up in their window seats, and slept like babies.

Choose the Dance of Peace

It’s all about how we deal with the challenges because they won’t stop appearing in our lives, but we can use them to grow and expand our practice of our spiritual principles. We can always choose the dance of peace.

How do you deal with uncomfortable situations you can’t change? Please comment.

Related Articles: Nick Cave’s Art (scroll down and watch the first video), Why You Aren’t At Peace Right Now – Eckhart Tolle, Eckhart Tolle – From Beng Upset to Being Peace (video)

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Tagged #WPLongform, Consciousness, Flexible Thinking, Inspirational, New Age, Oneness, Spiritual Awakening, Transformation

Awakening to the Dance

AWAKENING TO AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt

AWAKENING TO TRANSITIONS

“Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.” Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

AWAKENING TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

AWAKENING TO KINDNESS

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” Dalai Lama

AWAKENING TO THE JOURNEY OF ONENESS

“The process of awakening is not one in which a definitive threshold is crossed and one is then enlightened, transformed, or ascended. Spiritual growth is not focused on a destination, but rather, on the journey itself.” Oneness, Rasha

AWAKENING TO OUR RESPONSES

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict – alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.” Dorothy Thompson

AWAKENING TO LOVE THE SILENCE

“Keep silent, because the world of silence is a vast fullness.” Rumi

DANCING TO CHALLENGING EXPERIENCES

“Experience is not what happens to a man (or woman); it is what a man (or woman) does with what happens to him (or her).” Aldous Huxley