THE SPIRITUAL QUILT OF LIFE

Posted on July 27, 2011 | 1 comment

Designing Our Life Quilts

When I look at the quilt my grandmother left me, I see a patchwork design.  Each piece represents a fragment of her life story and contributes to the overall pattern.  Like the pattern created on a quilt, the patterns of our lives and spiritual journeys may include remnants of varied experiences coming together to create unique designs.

Each of us, with our individual talents, ideas, and perspectives creates a patchwork that we call life.  Some people form designs and patterns that are static, others that are whimsical and constantly changing.  As we grow through the years, we incorporate the lessons we learn from experience, reworking and adapting the design of our lives to accommodate our new needs.

Creating Our Own Belief System

Some quilts are based on traditional designs passed down through generations, while others are designed as individual artistic expressions based on the quilter’s personal choices.  Much like traditional quilters, some of us choose the traditional spiritual path to follow the dogma of an organized religion, a pattern created long ago by others as a beneficial path.  Others of us choose to follow an eclectic journey, searching many spiritual disciplines for insight on how to live a better life, thereby creating a highly individual spiritual belief system.

I have chosen an eclectic journey, collecting spiritual remnants from a wide variety of disciplines and shaping them into the design for a spiritual quilt that reflects who I truly am.  As each new idea enters my life, I study it, practice it and observe the result.  Did it help me move toward peace or wholeness or joy?  Did it add to the fabric of my life a dynamic new element?  Did it expand my spiritual views?  Did it awaken and warm my soul?  If the answer is yes, the idea becomes a part of the design.

A Turning Point In My Spiritual Awakening

About twenty-five years ago, I reached a major turning point.  I had explored Buddhism and learned to meditate.  I had learned that the source of my negative thoughts and emotions was fear, and I learned a mental technique to release it, but something was still missing.  Being a very emotional person, I still needed to learn how to manage my emotions more effectively.

I joined a Unity Church of Practical Christianity and one day I heard, “Your thoughts create your emotions.”  I thought, “That can’t be right.  My emotions are what cause me to think positively or negatively.”  I’m sure I had been exposed to this idea before, but somehow I had never really heard the words.

For days, “Your thoughts create your emotions” echoed in my mind.  What if that were really true?  About the same time, I began to learn about affirmations as a way of manifesting positive people and experiences into my life.  Slowly, I began to put it all together.  I would have a negative thought and anger or sadness would immediately appear.  I would use the technique I knew to release the fear beneath the emotion, and a moment of peace would appear.

With time, I added another useful piece to this pattern.  I felt peaceful for a moment, and then I filled the space with a positive statement, such as “I am a peaceful person.  Only good comes to me and only good flows from me.”  As time went by, I used more specific affirmations and created positive feelings to support my positive words.  The channel Abraham would say I raised my vibration.

Adapting Our Spirituality to Life

By this time, the basic design of my spiritual quilt had taken form:  meditation, releasing fear, affirmations, and focusing on positive emotions.  Over the years, I’ve added more color and width to the design, adding intricate stitches that connect all the pieces or that give it a flair that is uniquely mine.  Although the design of my spiritual quilt will never be complete, I share it with friends and readers.  In case I find another spiritual truth to expand its design, I always keep some open space around the edges

There is no right or wrong design, no better or worse design for our spiritual quilt.  Whatever warms your soul and the souls around you is the blessed path.  Only you know what that is.

What are the pieces that create your spiritual quilt and how does it warm you?

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

Related Sources: Resources for Spiritual Journeys 

Oprah’s Best Week of Your Life: Finding Your Spiritual Path

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PRACTICING THE SPIRITUAL DANCE – FLEXIBILITY

Posted on July 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

“We learn by practice.  Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same.  One becomes in some area an athlete of God.”  Martha Graham

Flexibility In The Dance Of Life

In life and dance, flexibility is an essential quality.  As we watch a modern or ballet dancer, we are amazed by the infinite variety of shapes through which she or he moves.  For dance, the body must be stretched beyond comfortable limits.  For life, our minds must be stretched as well.

Physical flexibility allows us to move with ease, letting the momentum of the movement carry us through space like a bird in flight riding the updrafts.  But spiritual and mental flexibility helps us to trust that what unfolds is good, even when it is challenging.

Flexibility Raises Conscious

An inflexible mind limits our lives as much as an inflexible body limits the dancer.  Oneness states, “There are no right and wrong choices.  There is simply action and reaction.  And both are intertwined in the eternal dance of life.” (p. 320)  Flexibility allows us to be more conscious, to be able to see what the possible consequences of certain actions may be and then to choose wisely the action we wish to take.

For example, I grew up with the notion that friends were forever.  At least that was the way it was supposed to be.  I still think this is a wonderful idea whenever it is possible to stay connected to the same friends for years.  But I came to realize that in our mobile society this is difficult.  If we are also growing and changing, it is inevitable that we will outgrow the value of some relationships and that they may become so diminished that we each need to move on.

Letting Go With Love

Is it wrong to walk away from people and circumstances that no longer support what is best for us?  If we are to be healthy, whatever and whoever is in our lives must be compatible with our spiritual path or else that energy will be depleting.  Learning to let go with love is just as valuable as being able to welcome what is new with love.  Sometimes letting go simply means thinking differently about a situation. We need the flexibility to make whatever choice is appropriate.

So in life, flexibility allows us to change our mind, see other points of view, and experiment in order to find healthy solutions to problems.  Life becomes an improvisation so that we are open to new possibilities.  It teaches the ego that it doesn’t always need to be right. This is why meditation is so helpful. In the silence, we are able to sense our oneness with all creation.  In this space we are in the flow and we surrender to life, just as the dancer surrenders to the dance, and we become “an athlete of God.”

When has changing your perspective helped you make a better choice? Please comment.

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

Related Readings:  Practicing the Spiritual Dance – Strength

Practicing the Spiritual Dance – Balancing

How Simple Thinking Leads to a Brilliant Mind

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PRACTICING THE SPIRITUAL DANCE – BALANCING

Posted on July 13, 2011 | Leave a comment

“We learn by practice.  Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same.  One becomes in some area an athlete of God.”  Martha Graham

Awakening To Balance the Mind And Body

Finding balance was one of the great gifts I received from studying modern dance for many years.  Imagine, balancing on the toes of one foot, your spine stretching to its full length, your energy flowing from your pelvis, reaching down into the earth and upward to the sky, a perfectly balanced tension. 

Surry Celebration Team Dance, Flickr.com

To find balance requires strength, practicing pliés (knee bends) and relevés(balancing on the ball of the foot) daily for years until one day, it is easy and one rises miraculously into a moment of perfect balance.

I learned early that in order to perform a movement well, my mind and body had to work together.  This was long before I learned to meditate, so I didn’t’ have the advantage of knowing how to center my mind.  At first, when I tried to balance, I concentrated on contracting the right muscles in order to balance on my toes or one foot.  Then one day, I heard a teacher say, “Stretch, stretch your spine, stretch toward the ceiling, stretch out of the floor.”  I got it – balance was about expansion, not contraction.

We Need A Strong Spiritual Core For Life

Balancing requires stretching and strengthening.  In traditional modern dance, all movement is motivated from the center of the body, the pelvis.  Dancers need a strong core or else we find ourselves foundering, too weak to control leg and arm movement or unable to control our movement as we move out into space.  The same is true in life.  We need a strong, core spiritual belief that guides us.  We may believe that we are all One or we live from a spirit of Love that connects us to others in a meaningful way.  Whatever this belief is, when it resides at the center of our lives, it comforts and guides our actions and choices, acting as the core that holds the rest of our lives together.

Balance Opens Us To Wisdom

We also need a balance between the mind, body, emotions and soul.  If we can see the world only in emotional or rational terms, we have a limited awareness and may not be able to see the whole picture in a situation.  As we stretch, we allow the mind to open, expand, and move into new space.  We consider the possibility that ideas we have previously rejected may have value.  We learn to listen to another’s truth considering the possibility we may learn from them.  We learn to corral the part of our unruly ego that wants to reject whatever is not known and comfortable.

With balance comes wisdom, for balance teaches us to sit in the midst of chaos and remain centered.  When we feel balanced, we may choose not to respond to conflict.  We may choose to take a few deep breaths rather than honk our horn at the slowly moving person in front of us in traffic.  We may be able to stop ourselves from rushing out the door to a meeting when our child needs us to sit and listen.  When we are balanced, we are more aware.  We are living in that perfect tension between earth and sky.  We are an “athlete of God.”

 View the first in this series on “Practicing the Spiritual Dance – Developing Strength.”  

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

Related Readings:

Is Balance Possible in This Lifetime

How to Find That Elusive Balance Between Work and Life

 

 

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PRACTICING THE SPIRITUAL DANCE – DEVELOPING STRENGTH

Posted on July 6, 2011 | 3 comments

“We learn by practice.  Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same.  One becomes in some area an athlete of God.”  Martha Graham

Dance As A Physical And Spiritual Practice

The practice of dance is one of the most rigorous and spiritual disciplines that exists.  Like all practices, the more one learns, the more expansive are the results.  Each step along the way yields riches of the physical and spiritual kind that not only strengthen one’s dance skills, but which enhance all aspects of life.  Beginning with this post, I want to use the practice of dance as an analogy to the practices that can enhance our lives spiritually.

From 1960 to the mid-1980’s, I trained, performed for four years, and taught modern dance.  Its gifts were abundant!  Dance taught me about inner and outer strength, how to balance and center my body and mind, and the value of flexibility.  Learning the value of daily dance practice and seeing that it could result in my accomplishing something I thought I couldn’t do taught me why it is so important not to give up when life becomes difficult.

Learning modern dance was enormously challenging for me.  As a child, stricken by rheumatic fever and a heart murmur at four years of age, I was not allowed normal physical exercise, nor was I able to study ballet, which was my dream.  Fortunately, I out grew the heart murmur and at sixteen, my high school offered a modern dance class which I quickly embraced.  It was tough for a weakling like me, but with time I developed muscles that gave me strength and some shape to my skinny body. This was the time of Marilyn Monroe and years before Twiggy’s shape became the ideal.

Choosing Physical and Spiritual Health

Without physical strength, we cannot enjoy the activity of life, but we also need inner strength.  A few years ago when I fell on the ice and sustained a broken elbow and two pelvic fractures, I went through months of physical therapy determined to return to my former state of activity.  What I found shocking was that, according to my physical therapist, most people stop doing their exercises as soon as they leave the rehab facility.  As a result, they never fully recover, choosing to remain disabled rather than be disciplined and committed to their healing.

Empowering Ourselves

With any injury or challenge, we need the inner strength to persevere and take responsibility for doing all we can do to overcome the challenge.  This is how we grow in confidence.  What dance taught me was that even when a new dance phrase was difficult and I struggled to perform it smoothly, if I kept going, it would eventually get easier, and one day it would flow effortlessly.  There is always some challenge in learning something new.  If we avoid everything that is difficult in life, we miss wonderful opportunities that, through our perseverance, will empower us. We all feel more confident when we have successfully overcome a daunting obstacle. 

Both inner and outer strength require practice in life as in dance.  By practicing, we develop experience, find new ways to solve problems, feel more confident, and grow in awareness.  We can’t learn to dance without dancing.  When we choose to develop strength, we are choosing to become an “athlete of God.”

 When have you been an “athlete of God” lately?  How do you practice?

 In 1960 Martha Graham, choreographed a dance called “Acrobats of God” in which she celebrated and made fun of dancers and choreographers.   Look here if you’d like to see a video.   

 © 2011 Georganne Spruce

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MYSTICAL MUSIC FROM SPIRIT

Posted on June 29, 2011 | 1 comment

Sunday morning I awoke with the words of a James Taylor song ringing in my head.  “Just shower the people you love with love/Show them the way that you feel/Things are gonna work out fine if you only will….”

Listening For Spiritual Answers

This happens fairly often.  It has probably been happening all my life, but it was only a few years ago that I realized I needed to pay attention to it.  At a spiritual retreat on how to create the life you want, the facilitator told us to notice what song was in our heads when we awakened the next morning.  I don’t remember what song I heard, but it was one that spoke to me.

Sometimes the song in my head is one that I recently sang at a gathering, but sometimes it’s one I haven’t heard for a long time.   Either way it always answers a question that has been gnawing at me.  Regardless of the question, the advice given in Sunday’s song was good advice.  In this case, some anxiety about a couple of people had surfaced, but so slightly that I had not turned inward to ask for guidance.  Despite that, the answer arrived before the question.

I also occasionally hear an answer before I finish asking the question.  Before I noticed this happening and started paying more attention to my inner life, I probably missed many answers. I was negligent about taking the time to listen to my inner guidance.  I was told many times by spiritual counselors or by my own guides that I wasn’t listening.  As I became more aware and consciously tried to slow down, I occasionally asked my inner guidance, “Guides, am I listening better?”  For much too long, the answer was usually “no!”

Staying Connected With Our Inner Life

Functioning in the world at a job or just dealing with daily chores like changing the oil in the car, cooking supper for the family, or taking care of health issues can easily consume our energy and fill our minds.  But what I’ve realized is that I get messages all day to slow down.  When I drop three things in a row, start tripping over furniture or spill a glass of water, perhaps I need to slow down.

When these things start happening, they usually continue until I do stop.  For example, I use two water filters that sit one on top of the other so that I get a result similar to remote osmosis.  One day just before I was expecting a house full of people, I hurriedly filled the top one and quickly placed it on top of the other.  As I rushed from the room to do the next task, a crash and the sound of water flooding the kitchen stopped me.  The top filter had slipped off and fallen to the floor.  Luckily my friend and her husband had arrived early and helped me stem the deluge and mop the floor before other guests arrived.

Being in the Moment

It all comes back to being in the moment.  Only then are we really conscious so that our energy flows in a way that allows us to easily direct it to the task at hand and to open that space where we can actually hear our inner voice advising us.  And sometimes that inner voice may reach us singing in that holy moment each morning just before we realize we’re conscious and our mind presents us with its list of things to do.

I love that moment and always try to sing along.  It’s always good to start the day with a little mystic music, even if you have to make it up.

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

How do you stay in the moment?

Related Readings: Expand Into the Place of Inspired Mind

How Meditation May Change the Mind

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RECEIVING LOVE

Posted on June 22, 2011 | Leave a comment

Looking for Love

Remember the old song “Looking for love in all the wrong places?”  I heard it again a few days ago and thought how drastically my idea of where to find love had changed in the last few years.  In conversations with other women, the topic of where to find a mate usually touches on Match.com, activities they enjoy, church, work – the list is endless.  The idea seems to be if we are in the right place at the right time, we will meet the right person.  It’s all just timing and luck.

 The Law of Attraction

Au contraire.  A few weeks ago, I stumbled across the same idea twice in the same day.  This kind of synchronicity always gets my attention.  During meditation time, I read from The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks, a book about the Law of Attraction and relationships.  In a number of places in the book, Abraham, who is the source of the teachings, points out that in order to receive anything we want, we must imagine what it feels like to have it, rather than focusing on what it feels like not to have what we want.

Later, while reading Harville Hendricks’ book Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved, I came across the following idea: If we are looking for love, we’re unlikely to receive it because we are in the looking mode rather than the receiving mode. (p.123) Immediately, I thought of all the times I’ve heard the longing in the voices of women and men as they talked about looking for a mate or a friend.  I’ve known what that longing feels like too.

The second thought that came to mind was “this is the law of attraction.”  Hendricks is pointing out that in order to receive what we want we must be a vibrational match to that desire.  When we are looking for something, we are emphasizing the fact that we don’t have it.  This is scarcity, emptiness.  When we see ourselves as receiving it, we know that it exists.  We can see and feel it.  We feel excited and confident knowing the relationship will manifest at exactly the right moment.

 In Order To Love Others, We Must Love Ourselves

I believe there is also another important element at work here.  To have a healthy relationship with anyone, we must have a healthy relationship with ourselves.  How can we feel we are receiving love, if we don’t love ourselves?  We have to believe we are worthy in order to feel we will receive friends and lovers who are positive and supportive.

When I am longing for something in my life, I feel sad.  There is a lack that needs to be filled in order for me to feel better.  When I find myself in this frame of mind, I often stop and meditate, seeing the white light of the Creator surrounding me and enveloping me in love.  From deep inside that eternal love wells up, filling me.  Not only am I loved by the Creator and worthy of receiving all good things, I love and accept myself.  In loving myself, I empower myself, radiating out into the Universe loving energy that will attract like energy.

Loving From Our Spiritual Centers, Not From The Ego

When I love myself from my spiritual center and not from the ego, it is not surprising that new people and new opportunities show up in my life.  They are always positive.  Like attracts like.  When we feel good about ourselves, we will attract others who feel good about themselves, and this offers us the best opportunity for a happy and healthy relationship.  It’s the lover within us that really counts.  © 2011 Georganne Spruce

 How have you manifested the relationships that are meaningful in your life?

 If you want to learn more or are having difficulty manifesting positive relationships, I highly recommend The Vortex and any of Harville Hendricks books on love as well as the Imago Relationship work that he and Helen Hunt created.

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ART: A FEAST TO AWAKEN THE SOUL

Posted on June 15, 2011 | Leave a comment

Art is a shadow of what a person is thinking…a small glimpse of what they hold inside.  Little secrets, regrets, joys…every line has its own meaning. ~Sarah, Los Cerros Middle School, 1999

A Glimpse of Artist’s Visions

This past weekend I gorged on a feast for the soul, a series of the most tasty fine arts dishes that I’ve consumed in quite a while. The feast began on Thursday night with a unique event at the art museum, a PechaKucha Night where several artists each showed 20 slides of their work, making a 20 second comment on each piece.  These were the hors d’oeuvres.  Each was a small delicious sampling of the artistic vision of each artist, and like all art, each vision was a glimpse into the soul of the artist.

Art Awakens the Soul

That is why I love art: music, dance, visual art, literature and theatre.  I am uplifted by this soul connection and by seeing the interior of another human being expressed through art. Twyla Tharp, the wonderfully innovative choreographer, once said, “Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.”  We can leave our rational minds and the mundane aspects of our lives and attend the dance of life, exercising our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves in new ways. Art awakens us to a different point of view, one we might never have experienced had we not seen a particular piece of art.  Art may take us to a depth of knowing beyond words.

The main course of my feast each day was the arts walk in the River District, a buffet of sensory delight.  Overloaded by color, texture, and design, I could only embrace what was there. I let it seep through my pores and become a joyful energy that awakened me to the diversity and uniqueness of human expression.

Having looked at art all my life, I have long since giving up the need to attach meaning to what I see.  It is interesting to talk to artists about why they use a certain color or image, but often the artist doesn’t have a rational explanation.  Images for a sculpture or painting may arise in the artist’s mind mysteriously just as the ideas I receive for my writing are frequently surprising gifts from Spirit.

Going Deeper Unites

My soul was further awakened on Saturday evening, when I ended the day with a dessert even more satisfying than chocolate.  While I enjoy the intensity and brief pleasure of dark chocolate, the flavor of Anam Cara’s music has lasted for days.  Listening to Mary Davis’ soulful ballads, especially “Life Moves,” reminded me of the depth and width of human emotion taking me to deeper places within myself.  Listening to her sing of challenges in her own life reminded me we are all One and how our love for one another can heal so many wounds.

Dancing With the Divine

On Sunday evening, my feast of the soul ended with the Dances of Universal Peace based on a cycle of seasonal invocations to the Goddess.  Like strawberry shortcake, there were many divine layers to these dances.  We learned basic steps, then layered on symbolic gestures and ancient chants, each enriching the experience in some way.  As we danced, our individual energies created a community connection that carried us all along, blending with the chanting.  As I moved, there were moments when I was lost in the energy of the dance, imagining the goddess presence in our midst and being in touch with my own Divine Feminine and the source of my creativity.

Since the weekend, I have felt renewed in some deep way.  Spiritually sated by the wide range of sensory experiences spiced by innovation and originality, I feel grateful for the abundance of soul awakening experiences that stretched and opened my perceptions.  Today I feel like there is more of me to express and share and give.  I am more awakened to the dance of life.  That’s what art can do if we are willing to take it in.

How will you dance with the Divine and feed your soul this week? 

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

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AWAKENING TO THE END OF SUFFERING

Posted on June 8, 2011 | 2 comments

Do We Have To Learn Only From Suffering?

One day it occurred to me that I had always believed that suffering was a good thing and the primary way we learn, and I thought “why?”  Why do we believe that spiritual awakening and growth always come through negative experiences rather than through positive ones?  This, in fact, is the philosophy of most of our world.

On the day that I asked, “why?” I was fed up with negative experiences.  I thought about the life of children and how they cannot learn how to love if they are not loved.  The interactions with their parents teach them how to be human beings, for better or for worse.  It is common knowledge that criminals who commit horrendous crimes are often victims of abuse or are mentally ill.

Learning From Positive Experience

While it is true that we can learn from suffering, we need to come to understand it is not the only way.  On the day I asked “why?” I declared to the Universe, “I no longer want to learn from pain and suffering; I want my learning to come from positive experiences.”  I declared it loudly with great emotion.  What manifested were several experiences where people expressed ideas that, unknown to them, helped me to avoid mistakes or offered me deeper insights about situations.  I was reminded again how important it is to listen.

But of course, most suffering is self-inflicted.  It’s all in our minds.  We create elaborate stories to prove we are being hurt.  We’re sure a friend is unhappy with us only to find out we haven’t heard from her because there was a crisis in her business or family or she has had endless company.  We’re sure we’re going to be fired when the thought has never entered our boss’ mind.  We tend to expect the worse and by doing that we draw unpleasantness to us.

When I declared I only wanted to learn from positive experiences, I did understand that it was really me, not the Universe, that would have to change in order for that to occur.  When a problem arose, I tried to stay in a frame of mind where I expected to find a positive solution.  This often required me to first release any fears about the problem.  I also chose to avoid contentious people and situations and take responsibility for staying centered.

Letting Go Of Suffering

One very scary practice I’ve used a couple of times in my life is to affirm, “I release from my life all those people and circumstances that do not support the Divine Plan for my life and welcome into my life those people and circumstance who do support the Divine Plan for my life.”  This is what I call “cleaning the spiritual closet.”  Do not take this lightly!  I am often surprised by the amazing results of this practice.  Even when the losses from taking this action hurt, I’m always able to see what happened was for the best.  Most importantly, it reminds me who I am.  I am a spiritual being first.

The last time I did this, a really loving person became more friendly, a person I thought had dropped out of my life returned with a more supportive attitude, a totally new and loving person came into my life and a couple of negative people dropped away.  Not a bad response to one affirmation.

 Choosing A Cheerful Soul

In the end, this is just another way to let go and to get in touch again with our Divine purpose.  Eckhart Tolle explains how to end suffering better than I ever could, so please click on his name and listen to his five minute video.  We may have to experience suffering at times in our lives, but we can choose to leave it behind.  Have I succeeded in creating a life where I never have to learn through suffering?  Well, no.  It’s still a work in progress.  But more and more, I feel positive about life and am cultivating a soul that is cheerful rather than sad.  Friedrich Nietzsche said, “There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”  I’m with you, Freddy.  I’m gradually awakening to the end of suffering and I hope you are too.

Please comment and share your thoughts and responses.

The source of much of our joy is finding our passion.  Read more at “Finding the Fire.”

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

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BODY AND SOUL AS ONE

Posted on June 2, 2011 | 1 comment

The Body As Container For The Soul

One of the problems I’ve often had with traditional religion is the way it describes the body as a lesser part of our being.  The body is, after all, the container for our soul.  If we didn’t need it in some cosmic sense, we wouldn’t have it.  At this stage in our spiritual journey, we are experiencing a physical life because we need to learn lessons we can only learn by being in a physical body.

If we embrace the idea of wholeness or oneness, then we have to acknowledge that all parts of ourselves are sacred.  Living in a body offers us infinite opportunities to learn.  As a child, I had many illnesses including one that left me with a heart murmur which I out grew by the time I was twelve.  I missed those early carefree years of life that others remember with joy.  What I remember is lying in bed alone reading and designing paper doll dresses, feeling weak and shy and inadequate when we played softball at school and never learning to ride a bicycle.  I remember having a friend or two but never feeling part of a group because so many group activities were too strenuous.

 Awakening The Body And Soul

As a result of this childhood experience, I developed two interests: good health and creativity which I later developed through dance and writing.  Staying healthy became a priority in my life.  As a young adult I began to search for the answers that would allow me to become stronger and stay in good health.  My love of dance was not just about expressing myself creatively.  It was about building muscles on my skinny frame to become strong.  It was also about the mind/body connection.  Having rejected traditional religion by this time, I found that dancing brought me joy and touched my spirit.  At times, dancing was transcendent, my body seemed to fall away and I was all spirit.

Each physical challenge has been a teacher.  Around 1976, I studied with an amazing dancer, Erick Hawkins during a summer dance program at American University.  Having studied Eastern philosophy and anatomy and kinesiology, he had created a modern dance technique that trained the body gently, working with the pelvis as the center of the body, and teaching us to respect our own bodies.

But that summer, I was in distress, and despite Hawkins’ peaceful way, I made a decision I would regret.  I injured one foot simply walking across campus, adding more pain to the tendinitis slowly healing in the other foot.  I was in a dance company and had a performance coming up.  We were short on dancers; I couldn’t disappoint the director.  So, I demanded that my doctor give me cortisone shots which he did going against his own better judgment.

When I danced, my feet were numb; I couldn’t feel the floor, but somehow I got through the performance.  Afterwards, as I rested and healed over several weeks, I realized I had committed a terrible act of aggression against myself.  I’d somehow crossed a line I’d never crossed before and was willing to abuse myself in order not to disappoint others. This was clearly a signal that something was very wrong with my thinking.  I realized at that moment that I couldn’t stop thinking about the reverence with which Hawkins treated the body even in training.  As I thought about Hawkins and the reverence he had taught us to have for our own bodies, I realized he had been my spiritual teacher that summer.

 Loving Ourselves With Good Health

This experience made me realize that I needed to learn to love myself.  I had created unnecessary suffering and my soul ached. Dance taught me about one aspect of taking care of my body, but other experiences taught me about a healthy diet.  When I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I found a doctor of integrated medicine who taught me how to use food and supplements to heal. What I learned from him has continued to serve me well over the years to support my immune system, keep my blood sugar level, and sustain a level of energy that creates a feeling of well-being.

It is difficult to enjoy life when we don’t feel well, and while it is important to take care of our minds and soul, taking care of the body is sacred work too.  To deny the body’s needs is just as detrimental to our well-being as ignoring our spiritual or emotional needs.  Although I am middle aged, I’m actually healthier than I’ve ever been, and I believe that is because, in addition to taking care of my spiritual life, I have cared for my body, this precious container for my precious soul.

 Do you want life to be a dance or a drag?

We have a choice and it’s an important one.  Caring for our bodies makes it possible to do things that feed the soul like walking in the forest, dancing until dawn or jogging through the early morning air with your daughter.  What are you willing to do to make your body and soul one?

© 2011 Georganne Spruce

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HAVING FAITH

Posted on May 25, 2011 | 1 comment

Clearing the Heart Blocks

 Several summers ago, I attended a retreat in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina taught by Vani(Linda Bretherton), a healer from the United Kingdom.  The setting couldn’t have been more inspiring with ponds and streams, a butterfly garden, and a quaint rustic lodge.  The year before, Vani had worked on my charkas, opening many blocks that enabled me to find the courage to pursue a more heartfelt life.  In a small pavilion by a rushing stream, we did deep, difficult work, and when I left I knew it would take a while to integrate what I had experienced.

For the next year, my life was rather stressful, but also joyous, because there were times when I was joyfully immersed in writing, stopped worrying about how to make a living and just celebrated being alive. Only when the sense of lack from my early conditioning came back to haunt me did I feel stressed.

Spiritual Messages

This conflict between my emotional and practical sides had always been a challenge.  One night just before the retreat, I had a dream in which I was at the Intuition Institute.  Referring to my lack of clarity concerning the path I should follow, I asked, “What’s this all about?”  The answer was “It’s a struggle between the rational and the intuitive.”

Then, almost a month after the retreat, I woke suddenly at 3:30 am like a bolt of lightning had hit me.  Totally lucid and feeling surprisingly peaceful, I saw a large billboard in my mind.  Across it in neon letters, Spirit wrote, “It’s all in place. Relax.”  That was simply too much for me to process, so I turned over and went back to sleep.

By the time I woke again, I could only respond to this message with awe.  It didn’t seem quite real.  However, the theatre teacher in me was very impressed with how dramatically effective Spirit had been in getting my attention.  She was usually more subtle than this, but evidently I hadn’t been listening very closely or my fears were clouding my mind.  Clearly, she didn’t want me to miss this one.

The Fear of Letting Go

After I exhausted myself analyzing the meaning of this remarkable experience, I realized I was avoiding accepting this simple and beautiful message. Underneath it all, I didn’t trust myself enough to believe I deserved Spirit’s trust.  What if I were unable to truly accept this? And what if I could accept this?  That was a scary thought: really turn my life over to Spirit, to do it completely this time.  To really let go.  To have complete faith.

 I have a little poster on Faith that says,

When you have come to the edge of all the light you know,

And are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,

Faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

There will be something to stand on

Or you will be taught how to fly

 I remembered all the tears I had shed at the retreat.  They came in enormous waves as if the ocean were crashing through my soul.  They were uncontrollable, washing away large quantities of deep sadness, ancient wounds, carrying me through deep currents to eventually deposit me in the light again where I knew I was a Divine Being.  I had underestimated the power of those tears to force me to let go. 

What more could I want to know than “It’s all in place. Relax!”

And yet, there I was a week later – angry, resistant, confused, stressed, clutching, attached to one point of view – unwilling to shift my thinking to a new perspective.  Even after releasing my fears and reaffirming that I was open to Spirit’s guidance, I fell back into the quagmire of negativity and attachment.  Where was my trust, my faith, my knowing?

At a ceremony on the night before the October full moon, I chose an Insight card, “Prosperity.”  I asked, “How?”  The answer was “It’s coming.”  For clarification, I drew another card that stated, “Take time off to allow your body to rest and renew.”

“It’s all in place. Relax!”

So, I rested.  On the full moon, something shifted.  I let go of my need to control the situations in my life.  I accepted the possibility that looking at the cause of my anger from a different perspective would allow me to understand these situations in a deeper and more beneficial way. I considered the possibility that I truly did deserve Spirit’s full support, that I did deserve this gift, that all I wanted was already in place waiting for me to claim it.

Five years after Vani’s retreat and Spirit’s amazing message, I have continued to receive financial and emotional support for my writing from many unexpected sources.  I have learned to trust that I may not know the outcome of the whole plan, but I simply take the next step.  I don’t need to know what the step after that really is, for Spirit keeps surprising me with where she wants me to go.  I’m learning there is not one answer; there are many answers.  I have to remind myself frequently to let go, relax, and make space for the miraculous to bless my life.

Faith is, after all, the ultimate acceptance that the unknown is Good.  “Relax!  It’s all in place.”       © 2011 Georganne Spruce

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